I listened to a very interesting podcast the other day on the science of behavior change...and it has given me the courage to try again. Basically, the podcast guest explained that there are five stages of long-term behavior change.... and that it takes least 90 days to really solidify a lasting habit. They are Psych, Plan, Perspire, Persevere, and Persist. His advice was to really make sure you've mastered each stage before moving on to the next, which makes sense. It's also in stark contrast to what I've tried before, which is just wake up one day and decide to just start doing everything I should. Ha
I feel like we spend so much of our time talking about the mechanics of weight loss... But not as much as we should on the psychology behind it. In case anyone else would find it helpful, here are the five stages he discussed:
Psych: really getting in touch emotionally, through both positive and negative visualizations, of what will happen if you don't change and what will happen if you do. Really feel the feels. Make it real in your heart and mind. One idea I had was writing an apology letter to my kids from a future self for not taking care of myself throughout my lifetime... And then having health problems that led me to be less available to them, even the burden to them, during my so-called golden years.
Plan: think through in advance how you are going to handle things like cravings, your schedule, working through all the obstacles you can think of in advance that get in the way. This is the time to think about what your triggers are for making poor food choices and for skipping exercise. For me, I found that when the kids left for school and I had some alone time, I felt this overwhelming need to indulge myself: cookies with my coffee. Too many cookies. So much of my time is devoted to the care of others, so the trigger for me was this feeling of wanting to really lean in to treating myself. So I came up with the idea to put $1 into a piggy bank every time I resisted a craving. It's been a week so far and it's working. I have $15! I just visualize something completely and utterly extravagant that I might spend it on, a splurge for myself. It works for me because I already have a hard time spending money on myself, so in a way I am "paying" myself to take care of myself. In the long term, I'm actually saving money. If I take care of myself better, I will have fewer medical bills, I will have more energy to work harder in my job, etc. Different people have different triggers. The important thing is to find a substitute thing that meets the same need.
Perspire: work the plan
Persevere: This is the idea that obstacles come up after we've been working our plan for a while. Could be a trip. Could be a visit. It could be a holiday. It could also be that you're starting to feel better about yourself and so the pressure to change has been relieved a bit and so the motivation wanes. It's normal. That's when it's important to go back to the positive and negative visualizations. To feel the feels and find that emotionally resonant motivation.
Persist: This is the same as maintenance. This is where when you relapse you don't beat yourself up over it, you realize that you are human and you go back to the steps again.... But the more quickly you can correct a relapse, the last time effort and energy it takes to go through the perspiration part.... Because you haven't backslid that much. This is the time to combat the all or nothing thinking: If you slipped, you didn't fail and all is not lost. It's just part of being human. The important thing is what you do next.
The other thing he said are the two major results of the weight loss registry, which tracks users who've kept off a significant amount of weight for 5 years or more: weigh yourself regularly and log your foods. That's the accountability part. I'm sure that's not news to most of us that this is what it takes to keep our health at the top of mind.... instead of the mindless eating patterns that lead us to forget that we have bodies that require care and maintenance.
I have gained back all the weight I had lost about 2 years ago, plus the usual extra 5 lb. But I'm ready to try again. And this time, I want to focus more on the psychology of better habit building than on diet plans. Wish me luck!
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