Is it supposed to feel this hard?

So for context, I've been at a average 500 cal deficit, this is week 5.

I made an assumption that my maintenance is 2500 (5"5, 160lbs)

I've had 2 binge episodes so far, driving my average intake to 2100.

My average protein: 145g

My average step count is 9000, because I don't have as much activity in the weekends, my weekday count is more like 12,000.

I weight train 4 times a week, train grapppling 4-5 times a week (1hr 30min ish)

My weight progression so far has been very fluctuating, I started off at 161, I've seen 153, 157, 163, 158, my average weekly weight loss is around 0.7 pounds. (I know scale weight =/= fat loss)

I adhere to high volume diets and whole foods to keep my calorie counting accurate.

My carb sources: potatoes, squash, oatmeal

Protein (I avoid any super fatty meats to ensure accuracy): canned tuna, egg (mostly egg whites), chicken breasts, greek yogurt.

Fats: yolks, omega 3s, fats from oats.

Fiber: oats, onions, carrots, cucumbers, tomatos, strawberries.

Overall I feel absolutely horrible.

My sleep quality is non-existant, I keep waking up in the middle of the night and struggle to fall asleep (I take omega 3, melatonin, magnesium to help)

Everytime I eat I'm trembling physically a little bit from fear the meal won't make me feel full, and after I eat often times I enter in a "trance" where my body is screaming at me to binge.

I'm losing a lot of hair and eyebrow hair weirdly enough.

I often get the advice to up my fat intake, and which I experimented with, which just drives my appetite through the roof and makes my cut harder triggers my binges harder and any hormonal problems don't get resolved.

I try to go high volume - did a lot of soups, oats, veggie stirfry but doesn't seem to help much.

It's getting worse I can't concentrate on anything I do.

I just have to ask is it always this hard? Does it get any better from here? I don't understand how some people adhere to this. Any advice I'm open to, thanks.

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