Friday, October 12, 2018

Not sure what I'm doing wrong..

I currently weigh 430 lbs and am 5’3’’, 27 and male. I’ve been significantly overweight since I was about 4 years old despite always having what I would personally classify as a generally “normal” diet. That’s a long story though and I’d rather just focus on the present. My diet at the moment is currently only one meal a day most days, dinner. I’m usually not hungry when I wake up in the morning and on the few days that I am I’ll have a bowl of cereal or a granola bar. I don’t eat at work because I’m not hungry and don’t get any desire to stop and eat anything. When I get home we eat dinner, which consists of meals that could be described as ‘classic Americana’ – meat, starch, vegetable or pasta. For example, a typical meal could be a pork chop/loin with roasted potatoes and green beans or meatloaf with mashed potato and corn. I only eat one plate worth of whatever we have, and the calories aren’t anymore than 800-1,000. As for drinks, I only drink water. No alcohol or soda except on rare occasions – maybe a handful a year. No coffee, no juice, etc. I have a 30 oz water bottle that I’ll drink throughout the day at work and when I get home I have a 52 oz jug that I’ll drink most of during the evening. We don’t eat out or order in except, again, on rare occasions, and I don’t eat after dinner. I get my exercise at work where I typically walk anywhere between 1 to 2 miles a day, depending on how busy I am. That’s not a ton, but it’s much more than I was doing before I got this job a few months ago. All in all, I eat less than 1500 calories and walk roughly the distance of 1 mile every day of the week. Despite that, I’ve gained 7 pounds in the last 5 weeks. I’m not really sure what I should be doing.

Some doctor backstory if interested: Started gaining weight right around the time I turned 4. Nothing in my life changed at that time but for some reason I started to balloon. My doctors told my parents I’d grow into it. I passed 200 pounds when I was in the 5th grade. When I was 11 I started seeing a nutritionist when it was apparent I wasn’t going to grow into anything. My parents made sure I followed her advice religiously. I hit 300 pounds in 7th grade. Throughout my teenage years I saw doctors of all kinds, several nutritionists, two endocrinologists and a handful of therapists and they all just told me to eat less and move more - that my weight gain was me not being honest with them/myself. I kind of became numb to doctors by the time I hit 400 pounds when I was 21. The last time I saw one was mid 2016 when I brought her 3 months of detailed calorie counting that showed her essentially what I typed above. She picked out the 2 ice teas I had in that time and said I needed to drink less sugar and I should consider bariatric surgery. I agreed to look into it and filled out the initial paperwork and went to the seminar but couldn’t continue because the insurance I had at the time said they wouldn’t pay for it unless I was diabetic, had heart disease or sleep apnea, and I had none. I really don’t want to have surgery.

I’ve had different eating habits all my life, like most people I suppose. They weren’t all perfect and the one I’m on right now is what I’ve done for about 2 years, but I’ve never eaten in a way that I feel would justify my weight gain like eating lots of junk food, binge eating, liquid calories, etc – all the classic things that weight loss guides tell you to stop day 1. I stayed around 400 pounds for a few years for some reason but in the last year I’ve gained the extra 30 and I’m worried I’m on a B line to 500 pounds and don’t want it to happen, but I don’t know what I can do anymore to stop it. I’m hoping you all might have some advice. The one thing I figure I should be doing is eating a protein breakfast of some kind. I’m just intimidated to eat much these days, but I can get myself to do it if it’s necessary...

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