Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Down 61 pounds today - Thank you! (and sorry for the long read).

Hey everyone! Thanks for this great community! I'm happy to have been a lurker till today.

Here it goes: Everyone knows what has to be done yada yada yada. We have the knowledge. We have the support. We have the examples. It helps, but ultimately it comes down to each one of us. It's effing hard till you put your mind into it, till you convince yourself you will be better now and even better in the future. Sure, it has been shitty - but it can't possibly be worse tomorrow if you start today. There's no way. Thing is, you've got to choose doing it for yourself, even tho you can obivoulsy still think of your loved ones and the good it will bring them too. I know I did think about my spouse and my 2 kids, but ultimately it was me: my health, my self steem, my living, my tomorrow.

Having said that, I went from 373 lbs in June/2017 to 312 lbs in November/2018 (38 yo male, 6'4/6'5). Down 61 pounds. It seems a great deal, sure, but I still have some ways to go. I'd like to be lighter, maybe 40 pounds or so lighter. I have time - and most implortantly I now have the means.

What I did when I find myself the heaviest I'd ever been: started looking for a sport - one that would not wreck my joints, that would not brake my feet and ankles and one that would not kill me immediately by heart attack. It had to be something I'd play for myself, not for a team - I couldn't let them down; one that I could choose wether to push harder for a short moment or save myself from dying.

So, after some considerarions, I started "playing" beach tennis. I mean, I stood at a court and had shots thrown at me. Out-of-shape, tired-in-2-minutes, immobile-like-a-cone beach tennis. I could return the ball if it was 5 inches around me; other then that, nope. Should I try my tiny little jump sideways to reach for a wider ball or do I let it slide? Sure enough, I'd always let it go. Didn't matter, I wasn't there to win, I was there to start being healthier. Strech my arms and legs sometimes. Step on sand. Get tired for a while. That was my initial goal, no more, no less.

Anyway, I endured. After my 1-hour class a week, I started trying eating less: salad and chicken breast, for a start, if only for that meal. Rest of the week, I ate like a 370 lbs person does: diet soda, pasta/bread/pizza/deep fried whatever, some sweets. I didn't miss that one tiny little meal after the class, afterall. Maybe I should do that twice a week, I thought. Just maybe. Just that one meal, see how it goes.

So, after 2 months, I added another 1 hour class to my schedule. Wednesdays nights and Saturdays mornings. A light dinner on Wednesdays, a light lunch on Saturdays. Not bad - I'd compensate some other time. No big deal.

Anyway, I started to see some change in my game performance. I would last longer on the court, I'd have better shots, I'd even want to play some more games sometimes. Sure I would think I should put more effort into it - like DIETING (damn) to complement my training -, but like I said (and you all know), it IS too hard. Yes, I can play 1 more hour each week, but there's no way I'm giving up my burgers. That was my train of thought. The usual stuff.

Ultimately, I now realize you gotta be convinced from within. I wasn't ready yet, but I sure was changing.

So, "since I can't easily change my intakes", I thought, "maybe I should try the gym". And I went for it. And I quit in 2 weeks, no shame. I know I should have tried harder - hell, stop trying and just do it! But I think sometimes you just have to find something else to give you motivation. For me, that was my beach tennis, not the gym. My twice-a-week, 1-hour-classes, light-meals-afterwards, less-eating-through-those-days beach tennis.

Fast forward 6/8 months of playing more and eating less - not always, but at least on the days I trained - and I accepted an invitation to play a tournament. Sure, why not? It's just another no big deal thing, afterall. Lost all of my six matches, but put on a fight. Endured. Completed all the games. I was okay with myself. "That's okay", I thought, "6 months ago I wouldn't even get out of my house to walk".

A few weeks later, another tournament, and lost again all of my 6 matches, tho I played better. "Maybe I have to train a little harder". "And wouldn't it be better if I also lost a little bit of weight"? "Let's try this", I thought. Just this time, just for these weeks befor the next one, just to see how it goes. No big deal.

"Just till my next tournament, no soda". It had started: a change of habits. I'm aware of it now. "Let's cut down on carbs", I thought, just to see how it goes. "People swear by it, so maybe it works?". All that keto I keep reading about at Redditt? "I can eat some more later, but just for now let's put that on hold".

Those 1-hour classes twice a week were still going strong, ultimately it was the part of the plan that I sticked to with no fail. Sometimes I would eat pizza at a week night, but it was less than usual. Soda I had cut. Pasta, eating less. Bread, rice, nah, let's leave it. Sweets? An ice cream sometimes. But just a little. Till my next tournament.

Well, the next tournament came and I won it, full stop. 65 players, 1 champion, and that was me. It had worked. People would compliment me on my game and on my weight loss. I had no awareness about my weight, honestly: I only wanted to be healthier and improve my game, be faster, more agile, do some dives to save some shots. Stepped on a scale and realized it: 46 pounds less. That was 65 days ago.

With my newfound will and realizing I had done a lot of the heavy lifting without barely noticing it, I went further: "now I will actively eat healthier, cut soda for good, eat less carbs, less sweets". Till my next tournament. That was it. And it's still working - I just lost another 15 pounds. My game is still improving, my clothes fit way better, my children and spouse compliment me. I'm happy for them, and I'm happy for mylself. I just know I'll keep doing this until I ultimately reach what I think it's better for myself, no hard goals in mind: be healthier, play better, enjoy life better, be a better example for them. Maybe 15 pounds less? 20 less? 8 less? Whatever makes me healthier and happier. No hard numbers, no hard goals. Be better each day, maybe just a little. Eat a slice or 2 of pizza tomorrow, but not today. Just not today. Are you positive you want it today? Then it's only one slice. Stick to it. It works if that's what you really want, from within.

I'm not going back to my old weight because I finally found what works for me, and most importantly, what matters to me: not that crappy soda can or that third slice of pizza, but better living, better felling, better breathing, better sleeping, better everything. Just a little bit of willpower - some excercise, some light dieting for a start, something that works for you. You'll feel better guaranteed. And even better tomorrow and the day after. Start now, just to see how it goes - "no big deal".

Thank you all, because from all the stories from this community, I could find the one that works for me. Your motivation, your feelings, your sharing, it all came to this: the realization that I can find my own means to achieve it, too. I hope you all can find yours.

And hey, I wouldn't complain about more trophies either. It's a great feeling, overall.

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