I was 258lbs when I finally said "this is insane" and I started trying to lose weight. That was in 2015-2016, after some horrible life events. I'm currently stuck at 220lbs. The only reason i'm even at 220lbs is because I gave birth again 6 months ago and i'm breastfeeding on demand. If it was not for that,I would probably be at 240lbs or worse which is what i was able to get myself down to on my own,then i lost weight while pregnant from morning sickness and nutrients being sucked away and the birth gave me an extra push.
I'm a SAHM and take online classes. So i'm not running around a lot. Especially with baby being in this super clingy phase,I don't mind it but it makes me sit more than usual. We only have one car and the guy uses it for work all day which means i'm not going out every single day. I've walked around the complex but it's cold and I don't want to take the kid and baby out in that. I'm more focused on starting in the kitchen for now. The longest I have tracked calories before was for about 1 month. I lost maybe one pound. I fall off the wagon when anxiety and stress kicks in or I miss a few days of tracking and I just quit tracking. I eat at weird times of the day and night. Like 4am(when my guy leaves for work) or I snack after the kids are asleep. When I've officially woken up, my stomach is horribly hungry even though I snacked a few hours before so I eat something that isn't too heavy, around 350 calories. I eat lunch around noon,usually under 400 calories. Then for some strange reason from like 1pm to 5pm I go into major binge mode. I snack like crazy. When I look at MFP I was consuming like 700-1000 calories in "snacks" which is junk food pretty much. Over 50% of my intake is carbs. When we do get fast food,I try to keep the calories low or adjust my day based on it. I thought of intermittent fasting since the binge kicks in at a certain time but I still ended up binging or craving even more than usual.
I look at recipes but when I bring home the groceries i'm like "What the hell did I even buy, what can I make with this stuff??" I like getting already ready foods because..well, two kids. I tried meal prepping but I only prepped for breakfast for two days and I did not pay attention to the calories. I'm a bit limited in certain things, like I can't eat bananas and some vegetables/ fruits give me horrible stomach problems. I haven't had real dairy in a few months. I was trying to eat less meat but that didn't work out too well. I apparently don't know how to season things well either which turns me off from making meals sometimes.
I'm so tired of looking in the mirror seeing this same body. I feel like i'm in a suit of flabby flesh. I've had two c-sections so I know this flab at the bottom of my stomach is here to stay but i still want to be under 200lbs. It's demotivating to see yourself one way and then catch a glimpse of how you really look in the mirror or in pictures.
My guy loves fast food and soda, but I don't let that interfere with me most times. There's been way more times where I tell him I already ate or I cooked something, so he can enjoy it on his own since he won't listen to me. So I'm on this journey alone with no support. My kids are a motivation because I want to live a healthy life with them and have the energy to run after them.
I'm 25,5'3, and 220lbs I think..my scale has been on the fritz lately. But the range has been 220-223. But based on how i'm feeling and looking, I do not like my body. I'm tired of being the cute chubby girl. On top of this terrible eating and maintaining/ gaining, I think me constantly holding my 18lb baby is making me bigger? Wider? Top heavy? I've noticed that the top half of my body looks bigger or wider than it did last month like I've gained muscle. I already have some pretty wide shoulders and fat,flabby arms that refuses to go away. My ultimate goal is to be around 150. The lowest I've ever been is 180 and that was after the birth of my first kid...I was depressed and being abused at that time so that was the culprit of weight loss too back then.
What can I do to start up and stick with it? When I tracked I mostly ended up at 2000-2100 cals at the end of the day. Very rarely I ended at 1800. How do I gain control?
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