I've attempted to keep at it with CICO for 1 month. The first two weeks I was able to stick with it, track almost everything and keep the motivation and mindset. The last couple of weeks, not so much. They say it can take 21 days to make a habit. I didn't make it 15 days.
A little bit about me: 34 Female, weighing in around 244 pounds. When I started CICO I was 248. I did not weight myself this morning because I was afraid of what it would be. At the beginning of this year I was roughly 255-258. Winter always becomes my very sedentary time and once Spring hits I become more active with my kayak fishing competing (yes its a thing). I have been through cycles of becoming a couch potato in the late fall up until April for several years now. I hate winter, I hate dark mornings and dark evenings, I hate the cold, and any activity outside in the cold is somewhat impossible due to cold induced asthma. I have also given up very easily in the past with other diet trends, mainly because they were so restrictive and knew it would not work and also didn't have the mindset.
I had been in a funk for about 2 years with no reason/motivation/mindset, etc to try or even attempt weight loss. I knew I just didn't have it in me mentally to do it. I recently got married 9/8/18 so there was a lot on my plate for that. The week off after the wedding something inside finally woke back up. I got motivated, I got the mindset back. Its like the on switch that I couldn't find was on full power. I was ready to make a change. There is literally nothing keeping me from loosing weight but myself. I kept seeing posts on this subreddit and it gave me even more inspiration. I bought resistance bands, printed off motivational posters, I did things to prep myself and hoped I could keep at it. I didn't want to let myself get into my normal winter potato mode. I wanted to get myself in better shape for the kayak bass fishing national championship next March down in Louisiana. (Kayak Fishing is my heart, soul and passion). I had the vision of being slimmer and in better shape for this event. I had such good intentions, motivation, and support from my husband who I had tried to get into it years before. Now it feels and seems that I have just automatically given up, but the switch is still somewhat on, which I'm terrified I'll loose access to completely again.
I tracked my food/calories with the loseit app and made a simple goal to track everything and keep my calorie limit within reason (1600-1700/day). Sounded and seemed easy enough. The first 2 weeks I was able to stick with it completely and logged everything even if I went over, but it wasn't going over by much (70-100 calories). I didn't limit myself on certain foods, etc but realized within the first 2 days that it was still going to be a challenge mentally since I have a big sweet tooth and its really opened my eyes as to how many calories are in anything and everything.
Around the end of the 2nd week I hit the wall again. I would track most of the day, or parts of the day, then the evening is where I would run into trouble. I would want to have larger portions of dinner and have that evening snack. I couldn't deal with actually seeing how bad I did by tracking and it would make me feel ashamed of myself if I did. I also have had issues with binging (usually around the time of the month). I used the resistance bands once.
It's so easy to get off track, go back to old habits and just continue to be lazy because its the EASY thing to do and requires the least amount of effort.
It's easy to come home, get dinner ready, etc and then just sit on the couch because its easy and requires little effort/energy.
It's easy to give up right away because there has been no progress visually/mentally/etc and its the easy thing to do.
It's been easy to always think I'm never going to be good enough to loose weight because I have always failed or given up and have constantly yo-yo'd throughout the years.
It's easy to get discouraged and give up when the scale barely moves.
It's so easy to make whatever food you want and not have to count calories for every single ingredient because that can take alot work and even investigation.
It's easy to give up looking for better and different foods, recipes, etc because its an endless monster in itself since there can literally be 100 variations of 1 recipe. There's also a lot of really weird shit out there for recipes and foods. I was also faced with the reality of the meals I had made in the past were HUGE calorie eaters. My ghoulash recipe is 650 calories alone.... not a lot of room for other meals and foods in the day.
Now the positive side of things that my mind has accepted/realizes (My mind has a hard time seeing positives as this has been a struggle since high school, which is when I was diagnosed with depression).
By doing CICO there has not been any junk food, candy etc in the house for quite some time. Even when I gave up I have still not succumbed to buying crap food from the grocery store. Its a matter of not having the temptation in the house and also budgeting since we are working on paying off credit card debt to eventually be able to buy a house. Meal planning and prep has been on Sundays and made things easier for knowing what lunches and dinner will be, but on the other side of that is that there is alot more for me to do, since I do 95% of the meal planning, prep and 100% cooking. My husband is supportive, encouraging etc, but couldn't cook to save his life. Our kitchen is tiny in a house we rent so that makes things challenging if he wants to try to help Our local Krogers now has the Clicklist where you order ahead and pick up your groceries. The only downside is that it has to be made within 4 hours of wanting to pick it up and they stop pick up after 8pm.
I'm trying to see the how/why/what etc that got me off track and has caused me to automatically think I have failed. There's one part of my mind that desperately wants to keep trying, but another part that is already in the given up and lets go back to easy/lazy mode. The battle in my mind seems to be the wall. I wish I could just shut this part off so I can keep myself going.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2AGsCrH
No comments:
Post a Comment