I used to weigh 320 lbs (I'm 5'7" and female). Through calorie counting, I was able to get down to 160 lbs. It's been well over a year since I hit my goal, and I've pretty much stabilized.
My BFF has been through a million fad diets, but now that she's well over 300 pounds and has embraced the Health at Every Size movement. I love what the movement says about respecting people regardless of their size and encouraging people to love their bodies. However, my friend says things that absolutely drive me crazy and I just don't know how to handle it.
She has started to experience some health issues, including plantar fasciitis and sleep apnea. When talking about it she said, "The doctor tried to tell me that there was a connection between my weight and the sleep apnea, and I almost lost it on her!" She will not accept that there is a connection between her weight gain and her increasing health problems. I don’t know if it will do more harm than good to call her on this. I feel like deep down she knows this, and my pointing it out will only make her angry and defensive, or depressed and hurt.
Sometimes she'll say things like, "calorie counting simply doesn't work." And I'm like, "Hello? I lost half of my body weight doing it! What are you talking about!" I feel like I'm living proof that some of what HAES says just isn't true. I amhealthier now. I can run a 5k, sleep soundly through the night, and no longer have plantar fasciitis myself.
This is all also tied up in the fact that part of the HAES movement is combatting prejudice against obese people, which definitely exists. I lived with it for decades! And I can’t deny that part of the reason that I feel so much better now is that it’s simply easier to function in the world as an average-weight person. Our society values thinness and I will admit that I am now benefiting from that now. I never have to worry about sitting on an airplane or being seen as stupid/lazy due to my weight.
Recently we got into a discussion about weight loss progress pix. She hates them, because it’s like saying, “your body is bad, and my body is better now because it doesn’t look like yours.” I see her point, because there’s not really another form of discrimination that you can just change your body and be on the privileged side of the issue. For example, I can’t change my skin color or ethnicity. If I saw a progress pic that was like, “I went from black to white and now my life is so great!” I’d probably be offended too. But there’s so much more tied up in it. I’ve never posted progress pix, but if I did, I don’t think that’s really so wrong. It was a lot of work, and I’m proud of the result.
I guess I’m just ranting, but I’m also seeking advice. Does anyone have any ideas for things I can say when she makes comments like the ones denying that her weight and health issues are connected, or comments about the “myth” of calorie counting? Or is it better just to not say anything at all?
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