Kind of a long story
So when I saw one of my friend's dads after losing 20 lbs, he told me he was also losing weight, which is great. However the whole time we were talking he was kind of just lecturing me about weight loss and not really asking my input or what I thought. Now the thing with my friend's dad is, he kind of thinks he's an expert on everything and has all the answers, no matter the issue. He's a businessman so he was all like "oh I know the best weight loss product, the best protein shake, I have a client who's a personal trainer, I'll give you his number" etc etc.
I get that he was trying to help, and I appreciate that, but like it really came off as a bit condescending. His advice wasn't the best either, he would say that lifting is bad for weight loss and that I should eat every three hours (which no, lifting burns calories and preserves muscle, and eating every 3 hours would keep my insulin high all day). He kind of came off as one of those weight loss gurus who tell you everything you know is wrong and you have to try his magic formula.
I'm pretty sure most of you know just how annoying it is to get lectured on weight loss even though you're doing fine, and to get recommended like a dozen different products and diets. No thank you. That was just his personality though, so I really didn't mind at the time, and knowing him, he had 100% good intentions.
After that I didn't see him for quite a while, maybe 3 or 4 months. I just met him yesterday again though, and by this time I'm 40 lbs down from when I last saw him. What surprised me is by this time, his attitude completely changed towards me. I don't just mean that he complemented my weight loss. What I mean is that while we were talking, we were having an actual discussion. He was asking me questions, he was asking what my routine is and what my diet is, and then share his own plans. It was very back and forth and very productive this time. This just made my day yesterday.
Sure compliments are nice, encouragement is nice, but I really appreciate when people ask me for my input rather than telling me to try this and that. Discussion is productive and helps both sides. Weight loss can sometimes be a lonely journey, and if someone compliments me all I can say is thanks, but if someone asks me what I did, how I did it, I get to share my experiences and have a discussion and then ask them in turn. So if any of you have a friend or family member who wants to start losing weight, I REALLY encourage you guys to not just give advice and encouragement but also ask them what they have tried, how they're doing, what their goals are and what they want to do. It really goes a long long way in keeping someone on track with their diet and fitness, and keeping them motivated.
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