My 280 to 165 Pound Journey! (From Thinking Life was Pointless to Enjoying to the Fullest)
Ahhhh so this is a very long story and I am trying to touch on mostly everything that was involved in my weight loss including before I was fat till today so settle in if you have time to read a full fledged chapters worth. (I'm going to try and make it easy to read format wise ,but I have never formatted anything on reddit before so sorry if it's sloppy)
TL;DR: Well, I lost weight.
Stats
SW:280 lbs
CW:165 lbs
6'2 Male
Started at 15 and am currently 19
Kindergarten
Alright... you all are probably wondering how any of this story takes place in kindergarten and even if you were expecting an average over eating story starting from here well, no...
In kindergarten I was an average kid at an average weight (Tall though haha) and was progressing along as a normal 5 year old would enjoying everything that came my way. I had made friends and I looked forward to school everyday. One day everything drastically changed.
To be honest I'm not sure when during this school year this happened ,but near the beginning I'm pretty sure. Anyways it started in the cafeteria... we were ending a lunch period and I was talking to my friend Tanner. (Name changed just in case) Just a normal 5 year old conversation can't remember what we were talking about until the moment that I very vividly remember.
He started joking about how he was going to throw up and little did I expect about a minute later he throw up everywhere on his tray and some got on me. Instantly I felt sick ,but I held it in as teachers and custodians rushed over to help Tanner and clean it up.
I wouldn't think this would have any effect on me ,but it has a had a life time effect on me. From that day forth, everyday in kindergarten I walked into that cafeteria I threw up. I had no idea why ,but after a while of it happening I would start to panic and get extremely scared about having to go to lunch. I remember one time I had locked myself into the bathroom inside the classroom and screamed for what must have been the whole lunch period that I wasn't going. My mom came in and comforted me for that day.
From then on I no longer ate lunch in the cafeteria that year. I ate in the office the rest of the year where I didn't throw up. The damage that was done from this was my social growth from here on became rather stunted. I mean I don't blame the other kids ,but when you are the kid that throws up all the time no one wants to hang out with you anymore. I had become secluded and lonely already at a very young age and pretty much gave up on making friends.
I think you can see where food is coming into this... It was a very strong comfort starting right then. Now don't get me wrong I didn't end up friendless through school or even elementary school(Kindergarten was definitely a bust though haha). I became really,really quiet though and only made friends with kids who decided to push to talk to me.... and well even currently I am a very quiet person who finds it very difficult to make friends.
Middle School (5th to 8th Grade)
Now around this time was when I was realizing that I was bigger than the other kids and my overeating was really catching up to me. It had seemed to me that I was being avoided even more. I was 5'3 160 pounds. (First time I ever knew my weight and wouldn't see it again until 8th grade) I was never really bullied in a sense, because all I ever did when insulted or anything of the sort was absolute 100% ignore and pretend not to hear or even acknowledge in the fucking slightest.
It worked, kinda, people gave up caring trying to make fun of me and talk to me at all. I think I had a solid 4 friends that I talked to through all of middle school and had 2 friends that I would go to their houses.
Most of this time was spent in a worthless blur to be honest. I just kept my head down didn't talk and got through. The only thing that brought me real pleasure was eating and video games. I would pretend to my mom I had a few more friends than I let on to have just so she wouldn't worry and my grades were A B through this time so she didn't really worry to much.
In 8th Grade I tried playing football. My mom signed me up for the rec team and to be a "Striper" (Which means anything ,but offensive/defensive line) you had to be under 150 lbs. Well stepping on that scale number jumped up to 240 quick. I was 5"11, 14 years old at this point. So line it was.
I actually enjoyed football a good bit. It helped me put on muscle and I worked as hard as could at it even if my laps were occasionally throwing up and just plain feeling miserable. I made some friends on the team that I still have to this day and learned a lot about the game. I was actually really good out there on the line almost purely due to my size. My appetite grew tremendously more with the exercise that was involved and somehow I began eating even more. I ended the season at 250 lbs.
Highschool(Start of weight loss)
So I began high school trying to play on the football team ,but within 2 weeks I had already quit. It was way too tough for me when I hadn't done anything to make myself fit for the last 7 months and had just stuffed my face. It didn't bother me too much I actually had a fun class for the first time in forever where I had a solid group of friends. Freshmen Gym.
It was a great class I could finally goof off and have an ok time with people I was comfortable with. I was still insanely quiet ,but I could enjoy the time during gym class and then not talk at all the rest of the day. All of the fitness tests I was complete garbage at at ,but it hardly bothered me and I just coasted through the year.
Around Christmas I gained a TON of weight. My grandma had just gotten around 60 family size bags of chips from where she worked because they were just going to throw them away. I was in heaven. Every day I ate a whole family size bag of chips with all full meals with usually double or triple portions,more snacks thrown in and no exercise. (How was I still slightly confused how I was so big...smh) Path to destruction right here. Also since I'm on this topic, my food habits were getting weird and I just tried to eat as much as I could. I remember nights of chugging bottles of ranch and days of eating a whole loaf of bread with Parmesan cheese and helpings of mayo as midnight snacks. Sounds absolutely disgusting to me now.
Life was revolved around midnight gaming sessions and food. The real beginning starts right here, at the last few weeks of freshmen year. I was back in freshmen gym and we had to step on the scale to find out our BMI and such and I think they were sent somewhere for bullshit purposes ,but anyway as I stood in line I dreaded having to step on that scale. When it was my turn to get up and step on it the numbers read (Was 6'1 at this point)279.8 pounds.... I was dumbstruck. I got off the scale and tried to laugh it off with my friends like "haha yea guys I'm a huge fatass hahahaha" (DEAD INSIDE). In my mind I thought how was this possible and I wish I had current me to guide me and tell me that I ate like a damn pig. This was a very defining moment though. Weight loss didn't begin quite yet because I had no knowledge of anything weight loss involved.
For the next couple weeks I felt pretty down about my weight and hadn't done anything about it and was eating like I normally would until I made a comment (Oddly enough) on Yik-Yak.(Only platform I ever used since it was anonymous before reddit) It was some self deprecating joke about my weight and one comment recommended I download loseit and try it out. Boom!!! It had begun. (I wish I could thank this person so much)
Beginning
I downloaded the app and I was off to the races. I selected lose 2 pounds a week because I wanted this weight gone as fast as I could. I started reading labels for calories and stuck to under the amount it told me and turned it into (What I realize now wasn't smart) a game of how little I could eat and how much exercise I could log. It worked for a couple months. I had gotten down to 258. I was thinking how easy this was and had my first cheat day...
The cheat day ended up being right at the start of my sophomore year. I wasn't able to hop back on and after a couple of months I had just given up on it. I had managed to maintain for a while and thank god I learned this before I got my first job at a fast food restaurant. I couldn't imagine the weight I would have been dealing with. During that year I learned about this subreddit for the first time though and began reading peoples stories and things that could help me out in the future. I coasted through the year and ended it at 265 pounds.
Through the summer I just lost a little bit. I was stating my junior year of high school at 260 pounds and that's what the before picture of me is. The first day of junior year. It was going to be different this year. I had the beginning of the year motivation going and I just knew I had it this time.
I downloaded MFP (MyFitnessPal) due to massive recommendations and I do find it a little better than LoseIt personally. I started tracking and eating a good amount with no exercise involved this time and it was working. I would occasionally have a cheat day ,but I was able to hop back on and keep it going.
I also had a different source of motivation this time around... I had a friend who was also losing weight and had lost a nice chunk already. He was at 320 and was down to 260 when I started talking to him about it and we became weight loss buddies. We would check up on each other sometimes and we had a fun race with who could get down to 220 lbs first. (He ended up getting their first haha) When we both got there we were kind of both a little bit tired of losing weight so we were looking into new strategies. He had been doing IF 20:4 through this time and had heard about water fasting. So we both set off to try water fasting.
I read some into and should have definitely put a little more thought into it ,but was determined that I was going to be fine doing it and I was going to lose a nice chunk of weight quickly and well luckily for me it worked great.
Fasting
So through all of May 2017 I ran 5:2 water fasting. I only drank water and the occasional diet soda Monday-Friday and on the weekends ate whatever I pleased. The first week was the toughest and the easiest. I don't know how to explain it. I would go through thoughts of I could do this forever to I need to eat everything in sight right now. I made it through though and was pleased through the first week so I decided to stick with it for the month.
When I ate for the first time after the first 5 day fast I had one of the most energetic moments of my life. I felt like I had just taken adderall,coke etc. ,but with intense amounts of clarity. I have yet to ever replicate that ,but it was enlightening to me and helped with the next 3 through the month.
I'm not going to lie,this month was intensely hard,but taught me good lessons about how I can really be ok with minimal food and nothing that bad will happen as well as really nice weight loss. I started the month at 219 and ended it at 197. I had kind of hit my first goal. I regained a little bit,back up to 204 because of starting to eat food and drink water normally again.
From this point forward I would sometimes do 1 or 2 day fasts ,but I have not attempted any longer than that since. It is a nice balancing tool to have in my back pocket. I would only suggest trying to attempt this if you have nothing to do for the next few days and know that if you are feeling extremely unwell just eat it will be alright.
New Goals
Well I had done it. I had gotten under 200 ,but I had no time for celebration (in my mind) and started a brand new goal of 180. I was still holding onto a nice chunk of fat. At this point I had pretty much quit counting calories and just went the route of eating normally which had adjusted greatly during my weight loss period.
I had begun to love frozen fruits(Absolute Live Savers and are my favorite snack to this day) only drank 0 calorie beverages. Had given up on eating fast food was just no longer worth it for me. and had started to cook and have been Semi-vegan meaning everything that I buy or make is vegan ,but if I am being given something not vegan for free welllll..... I end up eating it.
So gradually over a span of about 9 months I got down to 180 lbs with just sticking to what my eating lifestyle had become and I graduated high school at 180 lbs. I was happy with what I had accomplished and felt good... I had done it.
Moving Out
In August of this year I made a move across country. East coast to west coast and have been living in beautiful San Diego. While here I decided to go for a goal of 160 to get nice and lean. So I stuck to an under 2k diet and got there in 2 months easy with the exercise that I was doing with it as well. I don't have a car down here so all my moving is done on either bike,longboard or the good ol' feet. I also got a job 7.5 miles away so I put on 15 miles on the bike everyday and go to a job I'm on my feet all day.
Since the drop down to 160 I have been eating what I want again and have settled for the last couple months at around 165 where I feel great at and only plan to put on muscle from here on out. Life is alright.
The Problems
Well I make at sound like everything is fine and dandy ,but I have a solid list of problems that weren't solved by weight loss and/or were caused by weight loss.
⦁ Loose skin/stretch marks-They are clearly all around my mid section and thighs and sometimes I still have trouble accepting them
⦁ Body Dysmorphia- It is gradually going away ,but when losing weight I would a lot of the times look in the mirror and think that I looked fatter than I ever had before and everything about me was extremely ugly
⦁ Social anxiety-It never went away and is still very prevalent in my life. It is an issue I need to work on and I thought it would go away with weight loss. Not the case.
⦁ Bingeing-It still happens ,mind you a lot healthier ,but sometimes I will have plans on what to eat and decide to just eat everything and feel I have no control over it.
⦁ Thought of calories-Even though I eat what I want the thought of about how many calories I'm eating always crosses my mind which is a blessing and a curse.
⦁ Weed instead of food- I didn't touch on it ,but weed was also a big food replacement for awhile. during my junior and senior years I was smoking over a gram a day and coped with it. I have since quit and haven't smoked in almost half a year.
⦁ I'm not going to keep going because the other problems I don't think are food or weight loss related ,but just know all your problems will not disappear just because you lose weight. They will still be there.
Tips
⦁ Much easier said than done ,but just stick with it. CICO works. It is all about consistency which is something I feel this sub taught me the most.
⦁ For sure get them full calorie sodas out of here. They will only hold you back. They taste like garbage to me now and I am glad for that.
⦁ Water flavorings really helped too. Mios or whatever bargain brand your favorite grocery store has.
⦁ Frozen Fruit. OMG I know I already talked about it ,but so damn good. Cherries,Strawberries,Blueberries,Mango,Blackberries,Grapes, ok you get the point they are all really fucking good. I think the only frozen fruit I ended up not liking was cranberries. Just too tart for me. The good thing with fruit is if you end up ending an entire point of it it's probably only around 250 calories you ate and it most likely took you 30 minutes to eat.
⦁ Try other healthy foods and learn to cook. Once I decided to try and cook for myself I figured out holy shit vegetables are also really good. Not much I don't like when cooked well.
⦁ If you know someone else who is losing weight get to know them and try to keep each other motivated.
Conclusion
If you are thinking about starting go for it and you will not regret it. I can't think of much more to write ,but I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot I wanted to include so if you have any questions or want support through reddit PM me or comment here and I'll let you know.
A big thank you to this sub for getting me going even stronger and providing me with these amazing success stroies in which I get to include myself as a part of now, also to all us who just trying to lose weight and be healthier happier versions of ourselves that we know can be accomplished.
so take before pics. I really wish I had more from back then.
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