For the first time in any relationship, I weigh less than my boyfriend (6'0" M)!
I know it's a shallow and kinda silly thing to be excited about. I know my health and fitness are independent of other people and that comparing myself to others should not be the point. It isn't. I started focusing on my health last January during a fitness/weight loss challenge at my work and I've lost 45lbs now through primarily CICO. I wanted to be strong, and healthy, and thin. Also, I really wanted to win that work challenge. (I did btw!)
Being a tall girl, I carry my weight fairly well but I've been overweight since senior year of high school. Any relationship I've ever had has always been with men more fit than myself, and I've always been self conscious of that. Even though I've never been criticized by an SO, I knew how I looked in photos. I felt worried that they could have done "better" than me. That people thought "Why is he with her?" My own body image and self worth admittedly factored into issues with old relationships and I'm working on that a lot.My current SO and I have been together for 3 years and he has been wonderful during my efforts this past year. He has a physically active career and has always been quite slim. Although he has always loved my body, I was acutely aware of the fact that I was heavier and less fit.
While I may still be less fit than him, today is the first day I was not heavier! I looked at the number on the scale this morning and was so proud. I look no more feminine that I did last week. I didn't suddenly become more worthy of his love. I'm not a new person. I'm just lighter. I'm more aware of my own willpower and commitment. I'm able to run faster and hike longer. I feel more capable and happy and confident not only because I like how I look, but because I know I'm making these changes and succeeding.
Health and self worth are not defined by a number on a scale, but damn does it feel good to be where I'm at now, and damn am I looking forward to continuing!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2UoJqv4
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