Thursday, December 13, 2018

Today is my 6-monthaversary of being on this weight loss journey--and I nearly sabotaged it.

From 204 pounds to 162 pounds. Over 40 pounds lost. When I woke up today, tears were in my eyes as I slowly came to the realization that it was December 13th, 6 months after June 13th, the day I started my journey. I had a small slice of cake that I previously budgeted into myfitnesspal the night before. I had picked out clothes I felt comfortable in. I weighed myself, and it hit me that I had stuck through this journey for half a year--and the results showed.

Then I walked out of my room and entered the beast that is the outside world.

My first challenge was at the job I worked in. "Pizza is hereee!" My supervisor said gleefully. I turned my face when she approached me, thanking her but rejecting the food. Even after doing that, I was edged on, and when she left me, the box was still on the table, right in my line of vision.

I pushed on.

Later on in the day at work they brought in an extra large box of doughnuts. My supervisor had asked ME to haul it in with her. I had to stare at the box filled with doughnuts, knowing that I was being tempted. Again, she asked if I wanted one.

I politely declined and pushed on.

Then I went to my college dining hall and lo-and behold, there is fried chicken being served. I took a breath and got the tiniest piece and was able to budget it into my calorie slot.

Even then, my plate looked small. Chicken, string beans, and sweet potatoes. After I had finished my plate, I was drawn to get more fried chicken. I literally got up from my seat, walked over the counter, stared at the fried chicken, and then sat back down.

But I still pushed on.

I am now sitting in my desk sobbing. Today, I was able to make conscious decisions for my health. Half a year ago, I wouldn't have bat an eye at the food. I would have caved before even having second thoughts.

Food will not control me, and 6 months from now, I will still be pushing on.

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