Monday, March 16, 2020

How can I love my body and appearance in the moment, while being patient about weight loss? (24F CW: 167 GW: 130)

I gained almost 40lbs in the past year and a half since meeting my boyfriend. I didn’t realize how much I gained until my doctor mentioned my weight at a yearly check up, and it was a huge wake up call.

I’ve always struggled with self image and have always hated my body. I never appreciated how small i actually was - i was convinced that I was enormous. However, being with my bf and being in a much better mental space has lead to a huge improvement in self acceptance. I didn’t even realize that I gained that much weight - in fact, I actually felt hot for the first time.

Now that I know my current weight, it’s taken a huge toll on me and changed my perception of my appearance over night. I have good and bad days, but the idea of having to wait so long to look “good” again kills me. Now I feel like people are looking at me and thinking that I look fat. All I can think about is how my boyfriend must be so disappointed that I fell in love with someone who let themselves go :( he of course denies this and tells me I’m beautiful, but damn what else is he supposed to say....?

Does anyone have any tips on how to be patient with weight loss, when you struggle with self esteem issues? I can’t bear the thought of this process if I’m going to hate myself the entire time. I know that losing almost 40lbs in a way that will be sustainable is going to take effort and more importantly TIME.

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