Hello guys!
I just really want to share my "story" about my disfunctional relationship with food and how I am slowly but surely healing it and taking steps every day to learn and better myself)
At this exact time 3 months ago, I was visiting my parents back in my home country just as I am right now, but apart from that one similarity, things couldn't be more different. When I arrived home 3 months ago, I was suffering. I had starved myself for months to lose weight and my body was at its absolute limit, to the point where I would pass out randomly from exhaustion and freeze my butt off under the hot shower that almost cooked my skin. When I arrived home, something snapped and I went from complete starvation to eating all day, every day and oh how much I ate...
As a result, I felt terrible. Lots of throwing up, my body not being able to cope with this sudden change etc. This time, it's all different. I think the suffering and pain I went trough three months ago really helped me to find a healthy middle ground. When I returned to my current country of residence after my visit, I used everything I had learned to heal. It was hard, extremely hard. There were set backs, breakdowns and so on, but I think I made it. I am at a point now, where I eat in a way that makes my body feel good and I actually listen to what my body tells me.
I was on my way home yesterday which included an almost 30 hour train ride and then a flight, so I brought along cookies and chocolate since there was no way to take any sort of fresh food and keep it cool. I replaced my normal meals with cookies and oh boy, I'm sure it will be a few days until I can eat another chocolate chip cookie x) I listened to how my body felt throughout and noticed the small boost that the chocolate provided, the following crash and the lack of satiation I get from that kind of food. I am really proud of myself and treated my body to a nice hearty sandwich with salad, cucumber and tomatoes this morning, it deserved it :D
Surprisingly, throughout all this happening, my weight only changed by around +/- 5kg, which really isn't that much. Obviously, throughout my recovery my weight shot up as my body adapted back from complete starvation to a regular supply of food, but now that I am eating mindfully, that weight is very slowly coming off and I couldn't be happier. I am not looking for any sort of fast weight loss, in fact, even if I stopped losing today I probably wouldn't be too dissapointed)
My current motto is: I eat the way I want to eat for the forseeable future, a way that makes me feel good and nurishes my body. Wherever that takes my weight, I am fine with it.
Thank you guys for reading trough this, I just really needed to get it off my chest. Good luck to all of you on your individual journeys towards health and a happier life, we've got this!))
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