39-year-old male here. This might be a lengthy post...
Growing up I was always SUPER skinny. I couldn't gain weight no matter how hard I tried. Through high school, college, etc. I was just always skinny. Fast forward several years and I got married and at the time was working at a mall where I would close around 9 pm, come home, eat an enormous dinner (mostly pasta) and go right to bed. As you can expect, the pounds started coming with a force.
When I got married I was around 145 lbs. That was almost 17 years ago. After one year of marriage, I was close to 180.
Fast forward 17 years. I'm still married and now have three kids, and I'm now 254 lbs, the heaviest I've ever been. Tying my shoes gets me winded. I'm an "audible breather." I try to be in as few photos as possible. I'm INCREDIBLY self-conscious about how I look. My lifestyle habits are a perfect storm of poor choices that I seem to be stuck in:
- I work a desk job. I'm currently working from home but even when I'm not I still mainly just sit all day.
- I have some form of alcohol almost every night while watching TV with my wife. It used to be beer but I recently cut that out and opted for whiskey just so I didn't feel so bloated.
- I have terrible cravings every time I drive by a fast-food establishment. Just last night I had two chicken sandwiches from Chick-fil-a at 9:30 pm.
- I don't enjoy drinking water. I think it's because I love carbonation, yet I hate pretty much all carbonated water.
- In my late 20s, I developed knee pain on the outside of my left knee which several doctors have essentially boiled down to me just being overweight. Because of this pain, working out sucks. I can't squat, I can't lunge, and any type of long walk or jog makes it awful. There are still things I can do at the gym but those things in particular suck.
- I get bored easily. I can start anything but keeping it up gets boring to me.
- I... freaking... love... food.
Possibly the worst part of all of this is that I feel like I know almost too much about weight loss. I've been lurking on this subreddit for years. I've read the compendium several times. I've logged food. I've done keto (lost about 25 but gained it all back). I've done CICO (same story). In 2013 I was 199.8 which was my first time under 200 in 10 years, but it was short-lived. I know the science behind it. I know how to lose weight. I know what I need to do. I feel like I know enough that I've been able to counter every bit of knowledge with my own excuse.
But there's one lingering piece of motivation for me. In 19 days I'll be 39 years old. In one year and 19 days, I will cross over into my 40s. There's nothing magical or physically significant about that but to me, it's a big deal. I don't want to go into my 40s like I am now. I just don't. For the sake of myself, my wife, and my kids.
I struggle to realize that I am even the same person I was in high school. The kid who so desperately wanted to gain weight can't possible be the adult who so desperately wants to lose it, right? But here we are. And I really do want to get fit by the time I'm 40.
So here are a few things I'm going to at least attempt to do:
- CICO. I'm going to get back on logging foods and trying to stick with my caloric intake goal based on my sedentary lifestyle/work.
- If that works and I'm able to drop some lbs, I'm hoping that proves the doctors right and I can start some more intentional physical activity.
- I'm going to cut back on alcohol. I know this is necessary.
My ultimate goal: I want to be below 190 lbs by my 40th birthday. July 19, 2021. It's very possible that I will fall off this. Heck, it's even possible that I won't make it 2 or 3 days. But right now, as I sit at my desk, this is what's on my mind. I would love nothing more than to be one of these countless success stories I've been reading here for years, I'm just hoping I have what it takes to do it.
I'd certainly welcome any advice or thoughts. Thank you all in advance for your support.
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