The only proof I haven't been at least borderline obese since I was born is a single picture I remember from when I was probably 4 years old.
Yep. Lived and breathed being fat until early 2019 when I lost 50lbs in a couple months and have continued to slowly drop and yo-yo since then. I'm not happy about not having a tight stomach after all my weightloss, but I'm obviously healthier and happier with my body than I've ever been.
Despite this, I still live with the scars of being obese most of my life. No matter how hungry I am, no matter how skinnier than me you are, if you're not a super close guy-friend, I'm not putting more on my plate than you did when we eat a meal together. I'm not going to get seconds even if I want it. I'm going to be screaming inside my head when you see me checking Google Maps for food, ordering food, or looking at a menu. I'm definitely waiting for the kitchen to be completely empty when I want to go and make something to eat or just grab snacks. I'm not going to want to eat in front of you, but if I do I'm going to pay constant attention to the way I stand, sit, and lay to ensure I'm in a position that doesn't make it as obvious that I look like I'm bloated and gained 10 pounds from eating a meal.
It's crazy having people refer to me as "the skinny guy" when my mind is the same, but in a thinner body.
Despite all the compliments, extra happiness, and statistically impressive weight loss, I still feel like the fat kid. I still get embarrassed for even implying I ever eat food.
Of course this question is more for my therapist, but I want to know what you guys think. How can I get past this and have the ability to eat around other people without having to hide everything and be embarrassed? I'm sick of having to feel bad for having a perfectly normal instinct that lets you know when you're running on empty
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2NuM5kG
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