Monday, June 29, 2020

In the midst of a 3 day nonstop eating binge and I just don't think I can do it.

I'm F, almost 30, 5'6" and approx 160 lbs. I carry it decently well and have a good muscle base from years of lifting but I'm not happy. Especially because I'm getting married in 3 months and have just eaten probably 3000 calories in an afternoon working from home binge.

I had 2 YEARS to lose literally anything before the wedding and I just can't. I can't stop eating. I'll do well for a week or two then fall off the wagon for a month. I've tried different systems for meal planning, calorie tracking, and nothing sticks. But nothing has ever stuck, even outside of weight loss. All of the planners, calendars, organization systems I've ever tried have failed to help me get control of my life.

I've been in therapy for years and my therapist is hesitant to "diagnose" me with anything because she isn't eager to pathologize things that can be worked through with cognitive behavioral therapy, as opposed to medication. But I strongly suspect, through a lot of independent reading, that I may have ADHD. It manifests in a lot of ways, my job, the state of my apartment, etc., but also the binge eating, eating as entertainment, eating as a means of procrastinating tasks, etc.

(ADHD is a lack of dopamine, which drives the brain to seek constant stimulation, hence the distractibility and the difficulty doing things that arent "fun". Eating releases dopamine, so ADHD often goes along with problems overeating.)

I'm just feeling so discouraged. I feel so... helpless, but I feel like a whiner saying it that way.

I've flip flopped on my habits and stayed at this weight for years. I had 2 years to lose weight for my WEDDING, which I should think would be motivation enough for anyone, right? And I couldn't even lose what, 10 lbs? 5 lbs? Nothing. I just dont believe I can do it anymore. I held onto hope for like 6 years that I could get back to a comfortable weight if I could just get X right, but this clinches it. If I couldn't do it for my wedding, I just don't believe I can do it.

I'd love it if someone with ADHD weigh in (no pun intended). Is there anything else I can try? Should I talk to my doctor and pursue medication? I'm just so so tired of failing.

submitted by /u/tworkingonit
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2YJT7Zb

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