How do you even make sustainable changes?

Hey

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I have been dieting since forever. But in the past two years I successful lost ~50lbs. In the last 2 months however, I was so stressed and busy with work I had no time for myself so I "reverted" back to my old habits. I gained 10lbs.

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It took me SO MUCH to lose these 50lbs. I tried different methods. I evaluated their effect on my body/mood. I stuck with the most sustainable ones for me. I thought that I CHANGED but then when life happened all of that went away and I'm back to square one. I am even more annoyed at how easy it is to gain weight yet losing weight take me so much discipline.

I think I know my problem: I get hungry easily, and when I do I tend to eat whatever that fills my stomach fast because I'm busy and I have to go back to work quickly. So what happens usually is that I eat bread with anything. Then I get hungry again after an hour or so, I eat corn flakes. Then I get hungry again and this cycle continues. The habits that I build over the last two years are:

• fasting: I usually get hungry half an hour after a meal. I read online that this is due to a sugar spike(?) so basically it's not real hunger. Fasting REALLY helped me control my hunger and suppress it
• eating two BIG meals: since I eat many mini meals (mini in size not calories), I combined fasting with eating two big meals a day only and the results were amazing!
• keeping up a journal: I write what I eat, how I feel about it: deliciousness, effect on body (some food make me gassy or feel like throwing up), fullness after the meal and so on
• calorie counting: I only did it shortly because I tend to eat the same thing over and over, so even without counting I knew how many calories were in my food

Oh and exercise. Although I consider it to be something for my sake not really something for weight loss.

What I'm trying to say is, I keep following everyone's advice on taking small steps (I mean I lost 50 lbs in TWO years ...) and changing the habits and I was able to do all of that. But in reality no matter how sweet all of that sounds the moment I was put under stress again I gained 10 lbs back. I am tired of yo-yo dieting and stress from work is already eating me. Adding stress from weight gain is not helping me at all :(

I also hate how I now KNOW that if I ever stopped consciously dieting, I will not be able to maintain my weight let alone lose some weight.

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Basically, what do you all mean when you say sustainable habits? I thought sticking to something for two years is surely gonna make this habit a lifetime habit? How can I make being healthy a second nature to me not something discipline myself to do?

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For reference I am 200lbs now. my goal weight is around 150lbs.

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