So I've started trying to lose weight recently and I am currently struggling with the contradictions born from it. I've started getting the compliments from family who can see the weight loss: "Are you losing weight?" "Your face is thinner." "I've trying to be like you." "Look at you! You getting so cute." And I haven't even lost that much weight! Honestly, these "compliments" have added a pressure to succeed. To go farther than I originally planned. They've made this decision harder because now I feel like I HAVE to keep losing weight. Because if I don't I've failed myself and their expectations. What started as me doing this for me has now turned into, I can't fail and I HAVE to lose weight. I've always been a body positive person, even before I started trying to lose weight. I've always loved myself and my body. But I've been struggling the past few weeks to stay on a course I've set for myself. What happens to those compliments if I stop now? What if I gain the little weight I've lost back? I've realized now that my original motivation is struggling to stay afloat. I'm not doing this solely for myself anymore. I'm doing it to please others and to be pleasing to others. At the same time, I still want to get back into my size 16 jeans (I'm wearing the only two pairs of size 20 jeans I have) cause I ain't got the money for new clothes, and the bridesmaid dress in my closet set for an April wedding is a size 18, and I'll be damned if I gotta buy a new one. My motivation is slipping and it didn't start until people started noticing and commenting on my weight loss ( as meager as it is). I'm getting back on track, but now in the back of my head, I feel like I'm not losing weight fast enough. I'm not sure how to hold these contradictions without feeling the weight of them (pun not intended).
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/39x96Qk
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