Saturday, February 6, 2021

Lost 120 lbs, gained back 150 lbs. Now I'm here.

Hi all. You don't need to read this post, honestly. It's just something I need to do right now because at least at the start I feel that I need to at least be able to tell myself that I am being held accountable by something external.

Years ago I was a regular here, under a different username, and with the amazing support from this community I lost 120 lbs over the course of a year (from 300-180). For the ~6 months that I was under 200 lbs, I was as happy as I have ever been in my life.

After a bad breakup, job troubles, and a few other poorly timed incidents I just kind of gave up and over the course of the next 4 and a half years I gained back everything I lost plus an extra 30 lbs to my highest weight ever at 330 lbs. While I have put in a few short stints of effort to lose weight during that time when I felt motivated, I have not yet truly dedicated myself to it in the ways that I know work for me. The most important thing I learned the first time around to have success in weight loss is not to find motivation in everything I do; it is to work through the times I am without motivation, regardless of how hard it might be, or how many times I have to pick myself back up after making a mistake.

Now, I say that I am done. I am done with the self sabotage, the "I'll start tomorrow/when I'm feeling better", and the "who cares" attitude. I know that those problems won't just magically disappear, and I WILL face them going forward; but I am done letting them be in control. I've done this before, and I can do it again; in fact, I know even more about myself and what works for me going into it this time.

What works for me (this is absolutely not advice, as everyone will face different challenges and find solutions that work best for them):

- I am competitive. If I have to hit 15,000 steps to beat someone else at a meaningless challenge with no reward, you know damn well I will be taking my dog for a jog at 11:30 pm to get those last few steps no matter how much my darker side tells me not to.

- I am data-driven. When I was most successful last time, I was tracking every tiny tidbit of information I could collect and analyzing it in spreadsheets with predictive algorithms to give me possible timelines of my future progress dependent on staying consistent. I have reworked my sheet and am already feeling myself devoted to maintaining it - and in doing so, myself - to the best of my ability.

- I am really, REALLY stubborn, and will constantly work against my own best interests. Due to this, I often just have to tell those close to me, even those who have good intentions, to leave me alone and that they are doing more harm than good. One of my biggest flaws is that I will do almost anything just to not do what someone else thinks is best for me; so when a close friend or family member tries to give me advice, I have to recognize the flaw in myself and quickly shut it down with a flat no, even if I have to be a little rude. This is the thing that I feel I have most improved on from last time.

So all in all what I am trying to say is, look out, next r/loseit Challenge, I'm coming for you. And if you read all the way through this, congrats? I don't know, but I hope you had a good time I guess.

submitted by /u/Call_Me_Gibletish
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/36NpKc0

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