A year ago I was overweight and my closest friend was thin and athletic. When our city went into lockdown she left the state and we didn’t see each other for nine months.
I took lockdown as an opportunity to better myself in all areas of my life. I transferred university courses, started saving, learned to drive, and started exercising more and eating better. I’ve lost 9kg (not much, I know, but I’m now at a ‘healthy’ bmi!!) and have a great diet and exercise routine that makes me feel energetic and satisfied. I’m hoping to lose another 3kg.
Lockdown ended and my friend came back. She had gained a significant amount of weight during the lockdown. I harbour no judgement towards her, it would have been super easy to gain weight during the lockdown and I was just glad to have her back. She still looked drop dead gorgeous, as she always had. I never mentioned how her body had changed, nor did I mention how mine had.
However, I’ve sensed a lot of hostility from her since she’s been back. She’s never complimented or even commented on my progress in a positive way. She constantly criticises herself and her weight. She makes comments about how I would fit into her old clothes better than she would now. It makes me feel ashamed of my achievements when I should be allowed to feel proud!
We used to go out to eat dessert foods a lot together. The other day she asked to go to one of our regular spots and I was super keen to hang out so I agreed even though eating there didn’t fit into my meal plan for the day. I was planning to just get a drink. Another friend came along and was ordering food, so it wasn’t like she would have been eating alone, but when I told her I wasn’t going to eat she threw a bit of a tantrum. She said it was ‘our thing’, asked why I even came if I wasn’t going to eat, and said that I had changed. I felt really guilty and embarrassed so I agreed to share some food with her. She accepted and didn’t say another word about it. I went way over my calories for the day.
The whole interaction made me feel shitty. It made me feel upset with her and with myself. I don’t know how to appease her without sacrificing what I have worked so hard to achieve. I know this isn’t a super uncommon situation, and I was wondering if anyone had some advice.
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