Confused in my own skin - upper body screams underweight but chubby from the waist down?

My (20F) weight loss journey kicked off in 2016 as a very overweight kid. I'm doing great now! I have a healthy BMI, a balanced diet, and a maintainable work-out schedule. I've lost about 25kg over the years and am honestly not really looking into losing more, just maintaining. This mission has been a success since I haven't had a huge swing on my scale in quite a long time.

Deep down I'm still doubting myself and my health, I'm about 3 kg removed from being underweight (which is still the safe zone in my opinion). My upper body screams underweight while from the stomach down, it tells me 'lose more'. I'm very confused about where to go from here.

My bubbly stomach is accompanied by my rather thick thighs. Yet my shoulder blades, spine, collarbone and ribs are so - so - so very defined, I don't even like looking at them. My upper body is so goddamn bony, there is nothing to grab onto. I went from a C-cup to "non-excisting boobs not being able to handle an A-cup".

In the meanwhile, there's enough jiggly fat on my legs, ass and stomach to make people describe it as "chubby". I wish I was exaggerating, but I know what it's like to have excess meat on my body. I'm just so torn, part of me wants to stop losing, but at the same time, I'm still not happy when I look in the mirror.

Anyone has/had a similar experience? I want to stay healthy, but reach my dream body at the same time. I exercise about 5-6 times a week, a balanced mix of cardio and weights (focusing on all body parts quite equally). I'm definitely not toned nor muscled nor owner of a flat stomach/ thigh gap but my legs and core are stronger than ever, yet at the same time is laying on my back a pain in the ss since it feels as if my spine is going to rip my skin.

Is losing even more weight a risk at this point? I'm not looking to become underweight nor am I looking to become a skeleton. At the same time, I'm afraid gaining will ruin my progress. Should I eat more and exercise more? Eat more and exercise less? Change my diet? Change my work-out game? I'm so frustrated, wanting to do the right thing!

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In case this gives more insight:

Gender: Female

Age: 19

Height: 163 cm/ 5'4 ft

Weight: 52 kg/ 114 lb

BMI: 19.6

Weekly average calorie intake: 1600-ish

submitted by /u/-enyamel-
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