I’m back on a weight loss journey 10 years after losing 100lbs. I’ve had two kids since then and gained 70lbs back.
After many failed attempts over the last 4 years, I’m finally getting some traction. I’ve lost 12lbs since January and I’m back to running or cycling three times a week (which is critical for my mental and emotional well-being). I was also doing strength training three times a week but then I got tennis elbow and so I’m waiting for that to get a bit better before resuming.
I’m doing CICO and Noom, but I’m probably going to quit Noom fairly soon because I’m not sure it’s continuing to provide value (the lessons are mostly not new info for me and the food database sucks so I’m double counting in MyFitnessPal which is annoying).
I’m posting here because I’ve found a lot of value from people’s posts here over the years and thought if anyone could help encourage me, it would be you all.
Where I’m struggling is with managing stress, maintaining motivation and getting good sleep.
I have a 7 year-old with ADHD and a 4 year-old with cerebral palsy and the stress of my life, especially with both of them home for a year and counting now, is overwhelming. My 4yo still isn’t potty trained and needs help walking, washing her hands, and can’t dress herself at all. She has a leg brace to help her walk but it fits poorly and hurts her and it’s incredibly stressful just getting us all outside in the backyard to play. I have myself tennis elbow from pulling her brace strap taut repeatedly every day—on and off, on and off.
The other kid is constantly in motion, demands constant attention, can’t sit still, can’t focus, leaves huge messes everywhere, needs a lot of assistance with online learning, and is very jealous of attention little sister gets.
I feel awful complaining about my kids. I’d do anything for them, but all the caretaking is taking a toll on me. We’re in the process of getting the 4yo into serial casting where they put her in a leg cast every week, attempting to train her to walk correctly. But we had our first session today and I had to drive her back across town to have the cast cut off after she spent two hours screaming crying. The whole thing was so stressful and I just got all of us Chick-Fil-a for lunch.
My partner is great, but he also has ADD, and he and my 7yo seem to thrive in chaotic situations with lots of stimuli. He has lots and lots of hobbies that he gets really, really invested in and we don’t have any social outlets right now besides one another. So then he’s excited to tell me everything he’s learned about his newest hobby and how he’s going to transition it into his new career path (which he totally could do and I support), but it’s hard for me to explain to him why the constant changes (new cars, new hobby focuses and supplies, wanting to relocate/get a different house) makes me feel like I’m losing it. I just feel like I’m in this never-ending rush of adrenaline where my kids constantly need something and my house is a dirty, messy, disorganized disaster and my partner is thinking about these possible huge changes to our life but not really but maybe really...
And I just want to shove food into my face and cry and drink 12 beers. I don’t really drink hardly at all any more but what I do do is have late night snacks and watch TV in bed after everyone has gone to sleep (even if it’s something I’ve seen multiple times before). I stay up late and feel exhausted the next day and I do it again and again.
It’s been great having some success in losing weight, but I feel like I’m losing motivation quickly—especially when I see r/keto posts where people have lost like 200lbs in three days. And I think it’s stress management and sleep that I could improve on to help me, but I don’t want to lose that time I have every night where no one needs anything from me. I know therapy is an option, but I just got out of therapy last July (I have an anxiety disorder), and feel a bit hopeless about the prospect of going back after less than a year out.
Thank you to anyone who has any advice for me and thank you honestly if you even just read this long rant.
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