Sometimes, it really feels like I've failed.
I've lost 30 lbs this year - took 7-8 months to do it (I'm 5'6F and my goal is 120 lbs) and I'm now in a plateau. Trying to be good about my portions (trying not to be lazy about counting calories) and really prioritizing walks every single day - walking is my favorite form of exercise. With the cold weather, it's hard sometimes. Losing weight is really hard!
I've been struggling with my school/career stuff too...it's been so tough you guys.
I'm 28 and a medical school graduate (from the States but went to school abroad). I graduated in 2019, took time out for a few months because I was feeling burnt out. Medical school was really difficult for me. I don't know if i was just overwhelmed or didn't know how to study properly. I failed a lot of exams and even had to repeat a year. I graduated later than all my friends (who are all working doctors and some even married now) I took 7-8 months to do a course to study for my first licensing exam (in order to land a medical residency - a training program for doctors at a hospital). I had to repeat this course twice and ended up with a bare pass on my first board exam. When my dad found out, he had a meltdown and didn't talk to me (or my mom) for days. Both of my parents have been supportive all these years I felt so terrible for letting them down. My mom was still happy because I passed.
I got derailed with my second exam because I was heartbroken over a guy (I know, terrible excuse). It was a potential relationship that didn't work out and I was left feeling devastated for months. Along with burn out didn't help either. I did self-study for 5 months, took my exam on October 1st (Couldn't sleep the night before) and ended up failing by 12 points. My mom and I didn't end up telling my dad the truth because of his reaction the last time. So we had to lie and say that I passed but with a lower score than I had hoped. My mom was still supportive of me (although disappointed) and got a tutor for me who has been very helpful. So I'm studying for that along with another smaller test (it's a weird english test I have to do that's needed to apply for medical residency. It's scheduled for next week). My dad doesn't know I'm studying for my retake so this morning he asked me when I'm going to take my english test - so i had to lie to him and tell him end of January. He started freaking out and he was like: "Well when are you going to get interviews for residency then!? You should have thought about this before." So I had to make up an excuse that end of January was the only date I could get for this test. He remained quiet and just left the house. (just to note: My dad is a doctor - he came from an Asian country and performed extremely well in his courses and exams. He passed everything with flying colors.) He has also been helping out his cousin's daughter (who has supposedly applied for 200 + programs to another specialty and already getting interviews. I feel like he's probably comparing me to her.)
With medical residencies, they do only higher once a year (you find out in March), but there are many off-cycle positions throughout the year and I reminded him that there will be many spots available even after March. He was still mad at me and said, "Well, you're supposed to maximize your chances!". I didn't say anything. Worst case scenario I will have to wait another year, but, I'm going to do everything I can to get a residency position before July. I'm gonna prove it to myself and my parents. It's possible. People do it all the time. I do feel terrible because overall, they have been so supportive of me - emotionally, and they have paid for my education. They've given me everything. I feel terrible that they've had to wait for me so long to get my act together. I want to be a doctor more anything - specifically, a child psychiatrist (and there is SOOOOO much else I want to do with my life). This is now how I envisioned would go post-graduation. I still didn't think I'd be struggling academically in my late 20s, but I am. I'm sure they expected more from me now. I feel like I've failed.
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