Using a throwaway for this, but I've been around here for about 2 years under my real account.
This is a combination vent/advice post.
I have been, on the outside, wildly successful in my LoseIt journey, but I swung too far and am now unhealthy for another set of reasons.
Preamble: I lost over 160lbs in the past 20 months, with the last 5 months being maintenance/figuring out the best weight for me to "feel good". I am just in the healthy BMI range (6'0 male, 180lbs). Strict CICO, tracking every day, weighing everything I can. A1C, lipids, blood pressure, all amazing. I quit drinking since it led to severe overeating. Averaged 12K steps/day the whole time, but no other exercise.
So why is it OK that I just at 12 donuts and 2 cookies and 3 breakfast sandwiches and a breakfast pizza slice and two croissants and 4 tablespoons of peanut butter before 10AM?
Because my journey towards weight loss has made me unhealthy because I did it in an unhealthy way. I've eaten below my BMR for 90% of the days in the past 20 months. And under my estimated TDEE for 99% of those days. I am orthorexic and spend 3+hrs/week at the grocery store trying to 'find' food that 'fits my diet' even though they all can in moderation. I never find anything...so I eat the same things over and over.
I picked up more solitary hobbies (thanks pandemic) but stopped socializing. I'm oppressively lonely. I used to play in a billiards and dart league, but that was 3 days/week and 3-4 drinks and burgers and fries, so I quit (also, thanks pandemic). I've been out to dinner 3 times in 2 years. Lunch almost never. Because I can't track my calories.
My mind is not where it needs to be. I'm more anxious than ever but I also don't care. My previously diagnosed but under control depression was back too. And my body started to rebel. I'm cold all the time. I cannot sleep more than 4-5 hours per night. I have no libido. My 20 months of caloric restriction and focus on only walking for exercise has led to a clinical diagnosis of low testosterone. 104ng/dL or 3 times lower than the low range of normal for men. And just a tick above the high end for a healthy woman.
I swung too far. From binge eating to orthorexia. From morbidly obese to "healthy". But I'm not yet healthy.
So, this weekend, I decided it was time to make the change after grappling with the low testosterone news and a minor surgery that has prevented me from walking for the past 2 weeks.
I ate 1000 calories over maintenance yesterday by getting a pint of ice cream. And it was amazing. I woke up to watch some sports this AM and I stopped at a bakery and for take-out breakfast. I'll probably hit 8-9K calories today. And I feel amazing. I am spending the rest of my day watching sports, going on a walk, catching up on some work, and planning a diet and weightlifting plan to show and consult with my healthcare team.
Starting tomorrow, I will stop eating below my BMR but will eat at 100 calories above my TDEE (per my doctor's rec). I will continue my cardiovascular training but am going to add in heavy weightlifting to build muscle. I will boost my "calories in" by incorporating more fat in my diet (I had been averaging 20-25g/day for 6 months...). I do not want to be on hormone replacement therapy so I want to see if dietary and other interventions will work (as my doctor suggested).
Lose It, but do so slowly and with your long-term health in mind. Mental and physical health.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/jJWToFk
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