Pretty much the title. 5'5, 67kg (147lbs), 17f.
During the summer I went from 68 to 63 very quickly, but stabilised at 65 which I was still pretty chuffed about. But now that I've decided to make a push to get down to 60kg, it's like food is constantly on my mind. I've found myself immersed in eating disorder spaces trying to stop it but it's just not working (which is good I guess).
I've never been an emotional eater in my life, but as my panic over this issue grows so does how much I consume. On top of that macros are stressing me out and I'm constantly thinking about how much fiber, protein, saturated fat etc I'm eating. I've got a pretty exhausting part time job as well as A-levels, and don't tend to feel hungry (more likely irritable and tired) so eating enough has been something I've always had to be conscious of and I'm so scared of tiredness affecting my performance that I'm consistently overeating by 1-2k cals a day I'm guessing
I just want to go back to the days where I wouldn't remember food existed until mealtimes, eat whatever, and then move on. Now I'm trapped in a prison of refusing a single morsel from a friend if I don't know the calories and then panicking before school and forcing down a heavy breakfast even though I never really used to eat at all until after school.
How do I get out of this and start thinking about food and weight loss in a healthier way? Even just a little bit would be absolutely fine, I was pretty happy with my body at 65, it's these extra two that are making me hate myself
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