I’m finishing my third week counting calories and it’s not as difficult or emotional as I thought it would be. I know this is what some would call fat logic, but I honestly can’t believe weight loss could be as easy as counting calories.
I tried to count calories once in high school almost 13 years ago when I was 15ish and there wasn’t a lot of info on calories on the food I was eating, I didn’t understand how to measure things I got at the school lunch or my moms food. I always failed because online all of the calorie counting made it seem so unachievable. Crazy diets like : “1,000 calories is all you need a day!”, “Eat bananas all day”, “The cabbage soup diet!”, “eat 200 calories every two hours for 8 hours!” were all so discouraging
I couldn’t do those diets, I would fail and quit every time, so I swore off calorie counting because I always disappointed myself. I thought I’d have to starve myself on bananas to be thin
I realize now that most of the online sources I was finding were Pro-Ana, and I couldn’t follow their advice because I didn’t have that kind of relationship with food or my body. I didn’t want to feel hungry, I was already poor and in and out of homelessness. I didn’t want to be super skinny I just didn’t want to be fat.
Because I swore off calorie counting, I developed an unhealthy relationship with food, a childish one where I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted until i decided I’d have enough. I don’t binge, I just ate portions that were too large and never said no to treats.
I’m surprised I’m not well over my current weight of 185 (5’8” at age 27, nearly 28)
I’m really excited that I’ve decided to try again, this time with correct medically sound information on how to improve myself and my diet. And I’m so happy that for three weeks I’ve met my goals and haven’t had a hard time!
Idk why this went on so long, sorry! Just feels really great :)
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