Wednesday, October 24, 2018

I'm the most unmotivated person I know and I've lost 30 lbs....so far

Starting weight: 320 Current Weight: 290 Goal Weight: ONEderland! Pics: None. I do have before pics but at -30lbs, being as big as I am, there's little visual difference- if any at all.I will post starting at the -50lb mark.

I've lost 30 lbs and am only gaining momentum to lose more. Weigh-in was this morning, at work, for our "Biggest Loser" style challenge. I gained about a pound back but that was expected after my PMS induced binge fest this weekend. Weekends and my period are my biggest challenges when it comes to slowing my progress. So when they both happen to fall on a weekend, it only makes for chaos. I usually gain roughly 5 lbs during my period so I am grateful it wasn't more.

I have noticed my clothes fit differently. I just went through my closet and was able to pull 3 shirts to the front, that were previously too tight. My pants hang off my ass but I can't get into the next size down...yet. So, for now, diaper pants it is.

Things I've been doing differently: Logging my food. I use Sparkpeople. I know most people like MFP but I like Sparkpeople and its community. I log every thing I eat. If I go out to eat and am unsure of the calories, I ask if they have nutrition facts available. If not, I make as estimated calculation of macros as possible. This has probably been the most effective tool so far. If left to my own decisions, I will easily consume 3,500+ calories in a day. I was raised, and still constantly crave, comfort food. Pizza, burgers, casseroles, bread and butter, cookies, etc. I am slowly incorporating more fresh produce into my diet and learning to eat for 1-2 instead of 3. Portions are another big fault of mine. I would usually LOAD my plate to the brim with whatever was for dinner and then clear the plate, possibly have seconds, then ask what was for dessert. Now, I am reading labels and instructions and will plate myself a single serving. I eat all my fruits and vegetables first, and work my way from most nutrient dense to least nutrient dense. If I'm still hungry, after eating and letting every thing settle, Then I will have a 2nd serving or get a healthier snack. I try to stay within my alotted calories for the day. Doesn't always happen but that's what I aim for and I know I am still getting less than if I were to "eat without abandon"

Food prep: I prep for the work week so I know exactly what i'm going to eat. I'll buy the salad bowls from Aldi since they're easy, cheap and I know the exact nutrition info. I'll calculate my probiotic yogurt and protein packs. I'll chop vegetables and boil eggs the night before work. It's a little extra work but it's been worth it.

Water. I log my water. I aim for 12 glasses/96 oz. a day. I am amazed at the difference I feel in my body and mind when I'm dehydrated. Sometimes I let it slip and only get in 5 for the day but I've been fairly consistent in getting over 8/64 oz.and usually my 12/96 oz. One thing that blows my mind though, is how many people claim they drink more than enough water but when I prod it ends up to roughly 4 glasses a day/32 oz.

Exercise: Nothing crazy. I usually walk laps in the gym on lunch at roughly 20 min/mile for 35-40 minutes. I do this 4-5 times a week. One of the days, I will walk for 10-15 minutes then do some light weight lifting. At home, I will walk to the gas station if we need eggs or something small instead of driving 2 blocks. I will walk to my friend's house who live 5 blocks away, instead of driving. Just aiming for more steps throughout the day. My fitbit died so I'm waiting for a lull in bills to replace that.

Areas I know I need help/to work on:

Food: For as many of the changes as I've made, and continue to adapt, I know there is a long way to go. I binge on weekends, my impulse control is shit, I LOVE comfort foods, I eat at all hours.

Exercise: I walk on lunch at work and that's about it. When I'm at work, and starting to think "I don't want to go to the gym today"> I tell myself that it's only for 30-40 minutes and that I won't regret going but I will regret NOT going. That does the trick every time! Somehow, that same mindset doesn't work at home. When I get home, clean up the house, make dinner, clean that up....it's 8pm and i'm tired. It's also very hard to get to the gym when the BF and I share a car and we work opposite schedules.I am trying to recruit some friends, who live in my neighborhood to join the gym and we can be "gym buddies" but that's been an uphill battle.

Support: I don't know. It's weird to talk to people about weight loss. Especially to people who have never had a weight problem or an overeating problem or have food/weight on their mind constantly. You can only keep someone's attention for so long when they aren't all that interested in the topic so I try not to talk about it. I also don't like bragging or talking about myself (hence my over winded post here). My boyfriend is also not great at support. He is average build. He can eat junk food at 2am and drink mountain dews all day and still have an average BMI. I ask him to not shit all over my food choices but as we eat the same foods he complains that it's not to his liking. When I say I want to go to the gym he complains that he's tired and just wants to sit at home with me. He makes me feel bad for trying to do better for myself. It's not intentional and I have asked him to be more aware of his words/tone/actions and I have seen a difference so I give him props for that. He just doesn't really know how to be the type of supportive I need and I guess part of that is my fault as I am unsure of what I need too. It's becoming clearer to me that me, myself and I need to be my support system on this journey and that maybe I'll need to be his support as well.

Goals: More food prep: have a plan for the weekend as that's where my eating/diet fall almost completely to the wayside.

Food/exercise/water logging: Keep this up as it's been my greatest tool so far.

Exercise: Continue with what I've been doing but incorporate more. I'll start doing yoga at home 2x a week. It's not much But I want to set an attainable goal and continue from there. Keep asking for gym buddies so I can get to the gym and take classes or lift or swim. When I was lifting, I felt so good. I miss it.

Intermittent Fasting: This I am starting today. I am starting small and will work my way up! I'm going to do 12/12 for the first week. (which, isn't that big of a deal but as someone who eats literally whenever, it's absolutely doable). Next week will be 11/13, then 10/14, etc....

Keto: I'm researching and taking notes and printing recipes and mentally preparing to start keto next week. I've seen it work, first hand, on people I know. They are giving me tips. My friend will be bringing me ketone strips, some swerve to start off with and lending me her air fryer. I know it won't be the most perfect transition but it will be trial and error until I get it right.

That's pretty much everything so far. I welcome all tips, ideas, tricks, etc. I'm really trying to make a lifestyle change with small, attainable goals and make them stick. I've been overweight my entire life! I just want to be able to shop at normal stores, in normal sections! I want to not have to worry if I'm going to exceed a weight limit or if an airplane seatbelt will be too small for me. I don't want my weight to be my defining characteristic. I don't want people to scoff at me or curl their lip at the mere sight of me. I don't want my SO's friends and family to have to pull them aside and ask them if they're SURE they want to date me. Mostly, I just want to look in the mirror and see who I really am. I want to be happy and healthy.

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