Need some help getting started

Hello,

I’m new to r/loseit, but I have realized I need some help getting my weight loss journey started and have nowhere else to turn.

I was an athlete all throughout high school and college, playing rugby collegiately, eating right, and the school provided nutritionists, dietitians, trainers, the whole lineup. During this time, I weighed between 225-238 pounds. It was a healthy weight. I still had some more to lose, but it was a good start for me. My goal weight was and is 215.

After college ended, I went out to the workforce. No more sports, a busy work schedule, and no one to track my diet or help me eat right, plus losing the group of 30 fit guys who give you shit for missing a workout really hurt me. I started eating like shit, and ballooned up to 285. Convinced I needed to do SOMETHING, I went to CrossFit and did that for about 6 months. Started losing weight again. At about 6 months, i broke up with my long term girlfriend and was devastated. I turned to food to cope. I estimate at the max I was eating 1800-2000 calories a meal, nearly 3 times my approximate daily metabolic need.

I’m now here, 5 months after the fact. I weigh 314 pounds. I hate how I look and how I feel. I miss being fit. I just can’t seem to find a way to get it all put together.

A little about my diet: I have stopped stress eating. I now walk my dog when something bothers me, instead of turning to food. I have also cut my portions down to what a “normal” person would eat (think 1 burrito instead of a burrito, 4 tacos, and some chips). I drink occasionally, maybe one beer a week. I don’t drink soda. I don’t smoke. I do chew tobacco. I don’t do drugs of any kind.

Most days I don’t eat breakfast, I’m out the door before I get hungry. Lunch is typically some chicken strips or some Mexican food, that’s all we have near where I work. Dinner is a tossup, usually a protein and some form of carb.

I don’t work out anymore. I can’t find a way to motivate myself to go to the gym. I don’t know why. Whenever I think about it, my brain tells me “why bother, you won’t change”. I need help, some route to start making healthy choices with my diet and start going to the gym. How did all of y’all find the willpower to do these things?

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