Who’s going to support me through my weight loss then?
So I’ve been trying to lose weight through CICO and Low carb for the past 3/4 months, and I’ve successfully lost around 10kg, with a little under 10kg more to reach my goal weight for a healthy BMI around 55kg.
Most of my friends know that I’m trying to lose weight, and besides the occasional “what’s the point, you’re going to gain it back anyways” comment, most have just led it slide, or shared a personal weight loss story of their own, or their family members, or their friends of friends etc etc. I don’t need most of my friends to be my emotional cheerleader, I just want to be able to have a say whether or not I want to go to that new bbq buffet place because I’ve hit my calorie limit for the day.
Now back to my best friend- she’s one of my closest friends, and we’ve known each other since we were 14/15. She finds it very difficult to gain weight and loses weight easily because she’s a picky eater and eats small portions, and she often makes remarks about how “I lost 5kg in the past week again.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love this girl to pieces and there is a reason why we are friends, but statements like that often rub me the wrong way. I consider her a very good friend of mine, but she’s also very blunt and brutally honest, and as I’m waddling through my weight loss journey it’s getting harder and harder to deflect her comments. When I decided to start losing weight through keto (for health issues, after my Grandmother passed away from a stroke and my Father faced some complications with diabetes), she was the first one I told. She absolutely did not believe that I was going through with it, and basically gave me the same “you’re going to give up and gain it all back anyways” spiel. I’ve never been one to yoyo diet, and the lack of faith sort of came as a shock.
Naturally, she isn’t one to diet and her mom refers to me as “that fat friend “, which obviously irks me but is nothing I can really change, since she’s not the one I’m interacting with constantly. Still, some my Friend will occasionally remark on how I’m “still on a diet” and “what’s the point”, and to some extent I can see her reasoning behind it and tolerate it.
What really broke me today was when we were taking a break from studying and browsing through YouTube videos, I brought up a video titled “fat woman wants to gain more weight”, where this girl, Tammy young, wanted to gain more weight, and was also a star on some BBW platform. Midway through the video , around the 1:35 mark, there’s a video of Tammy going “... and today I’m going to play with my doughy, big, plump belly”, with tammy grabbing and jiggling her belly. So we started talking about how women like her were making a lot of money off BBW websites when she remarked “so when are you starting (to make videos)?”
Now I have nothing against bigger women or men and personally don’t really care what other people are doing as long as they don’t preach bullshit to others, but it just pissed me off. Was this how she saw me? Was I that “fat, funny friend” of hers? I wasn’t even that fat! I know she made that comment meaning no harm but it just set me speechless down the self hate train again.
My family isn’t that supportive either - my family has a history of diabetes and heart disease, but most of my family members don’t really need to diet, although my father is a diabetic.
My younger sister is much smaller than I am - taller, too, and I sometime get that ting of an inferiority complex, despite working towards eating healthy and working out the way she does.
My mom is so amazingly supportive, but she has always seen “having extra curves” as a blessing. Still she buys extra-large clothes as souvenirs for me, and takes my food (I buy what I eat) saying that she needs some “fatty food”. She was drinking the dark chocolate almond milk that I brought trying to substitute the sugary chocolate drinks I used to love.
My grandfather isn’t very encouraging either, and often compares me to my younger Sister. He often makes snide remarks when relatives gain weight, and every time we share a table for dinner, he compares my plate with my sister’s. When he sees that I’m eating less rice (bc Low carb), he laughs saying it’s about time I went on a diet, while piling food into my sister’s plate, saying how she’s too skinny.
I know my family members and friends are all well meaning - but am I being too sensitive here? I know weight loss is a lifestyle change, but it’s sort of hard to do that when your friends and family aren’t exactly supportive. Of course there’s this amazing sub amongst others, but real life doesn’t exist on reddit, and it’s getting harder to find motivation to stop hating myself.
Sorry for the long post, just had to get this off my chest
*edit: I’m not the girl in the video, i tried to link a video for reference and she just happened to come up
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