After a long and hard battle with depression and stress, I think I'm winning it. And it's mostly due to weight loss, because I tried everything else as a picker-upper, and none of it seemed to help for more than a couple of days.
First off, I have to mention that the depression I have been going through in the past years was generated by my academic pursuit. I don't recommend anybody try to get a PhD degree if you're not particularly resilient to stress and negative feedback. It will slowly grind at your soul.
On top of that, I started the year with my SO(who I truly loved) breaking up with me after nearly 10 years by coming out, so you can imagine what a huge blow to my ego that was. We kept on living together for four months, so the feels kept messing with me. After she left, I finally had some room in my brain for myself, enough to realise that I was living an unhealthy lifestyle that was contributing to my overall bad morale. So I got over my irrational fear of the scale and stepped on it for the first time in years. It read 279.3 lbs. That's the most I've ever weighed. Something had to be done.
I started by severely cutting my calorie intake, going for more lean protein and fewer carbs and walking for over 6 miles a day. I didn't want too much stress on my joints, so going to the gym wasn't an option yet. Having a fitness bracelet really helped me to stay motivated and to reach my goals nearly daily. When I finally felt my body could take it, I started doing at least 30 minutes of cardio a day on that stationary bike I had lying around, gathering dust for the past few years. I also started reading about how the body has an unfortunate preference to eat away at your muscles instead of body fat when you're on a strict diet, so I bought a couple of dumbbells and a barbell and exercised the upper body almost daily to hopefully at least maintain the muscle mass I still had. I can tell you it really paid off! I feel stronger than ever. I now also own a fitness bench and that helps me work on a greater variety of muscle groups.
Oh, and it's really important to say that I do have at least a cheat day a week, that's when I satisfy my cravings at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant that I absolutely love, or just go out for drinks with my friends. As long as you're aware that every calorie you're taking in has to be taken out with responsibility and effort, you CAN treat yourself!
I started my weight loss journey around the first days of July. Now it's September 30th. I stepped on the scale again. 229. Unbelievable. I can finally say that I'm proud of myself. More than that, my mental health is better than ever. And I'm finally self-confident enough to start dating again.
So to all the people in here who are struggling, you need to hear and repeat this to yourselves as many times as you need:
You can do this. You're stronger than you can imagine right now. Within you, there's immense potential. And you can convert it all into something wonderful by taking even the smallest, most apparently insignificant steps. But above all, love yourself.
I'll see y'all in Onederland!
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