Friday, September 27, 2019

The negative effects from weight loss. 70lbs lost

I used Loseit/CICOfor 3 months and then played it by ear the rest of the year + regular exercise. I love my new body, the energy I have, and I enjoy shopping now. Overall, its a great experience. I dont regret it and I love my lifestyle. I am still adjusting to these aspects :

Comments:

I can only hope a year from now people will completely forget how big I was. I changed jobs so thats a nonissue, but old friends and other aquaintences still make unwanted comments. They are positive or neutral most of the time, but still a peeve and im sensitive to them. I get less of these comments since ive finished and most ppl are generally used to me. But i still will recieve: "thats all you ate?" "Eat some more" "I love how you can just eat anything"( this one is a kicker from people who have SEEN me loose the weight. Like obviously I worked hard for this?) "Why do you want to lose more? Youre fine" "don't hurt yourself" "You're done, right?" "Youre not X size, youre so tiny. You can only be Y size."

Sometimes I want to be rude and say, "Lets talk about your body now!" If anything, it teaches me patience. I am glad for encouragement but unsolicited comments mostly make me uncomfortable. With time ive learned to just accept, smile and move on but its still fustrating.

Opposite Sex: I get a lot more attn. More than i ever have since Ive always been heavy. I also work with majority of the opposite sex and deal with harassment in the workplace. It makes me uneasy around the opposite sex at time because i feel like im being oogled or picking up on signals im not trying to send or recieve. More men in general in public will speak to me, greet me, help me, stare at me, smile, or give me free things. It feels like a different world and can make me feel uneasy thinking about how bigger people just get ignored, and can make peoples efforts feel disgenuine at times (although they are just being perfectly plesant).

Jealousy:

Ive watched a close friend of mine be supportive, then clingy, then jealous, avoidant, and back to normal again over the past year. Its been wild. I used to hear my mom comment on how gross she feels now and says self depreciating things about herself, and my younger sister used to do the same. I kept telling them theyre fine and its been weird. They have stopped and have just gotten used to me once they realize - im still the same person.

Image/Identity:

This is a mixed bag. I feel like the same person when i look in the mirror. But when I look at old photos i seem so different. I also got sensitive about what else to change. If i could make my body so different -what else can I change? Could my legs be in more shape? Can i make my arms smaller? Are my thighs too big? You can go into overdrive. I was also going through a breakup at the time so this feeling was combined with that.

Again, for the most part it is def worth it and you feel amazing. Ive also have supportive friends throughout the whole journey, people who respect my boundaries with comments/discerning enough to know what not to say, and those who would stop me from being too critical of my body. These are some negative things but for me, overall its positive.

What have been your experiences?

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