I have been experiencing a fair amount of anxiety since I got within about 10 lbs of my goal weight. I lost weight before in the whirlwind, too-good-to-be-true way that results when you’re exercising a lot and not eating quite enough, and I failed miserably at maintenance then - I was very restrictive and when I tried to increase my intake, it was like opening floodgates. So maintenance is intimidating to me and honestly a part of me feels it’s not possible.
This past weekend, I took a leap of faith. I weighed in Thursday at 128 lb - the lowest number I saw back in 2013 before I lost control of my rigid diet and spiraled into binging. On Friday, I went to a wedding, where I enjoyed everything and ate more than 2000 calories for the first time since January. It was also my first sober wedding and I danced and hit 15,000 steps and felt great. I didn’t even log my calories until the next day and when I did, I felt surprisingly nothing about the amount I had eaten. On Saturday and Sunday I also consumed a little over my maintenance each day due to extended celebration and family gatherings.
This morning I looked over my numbers and started feeling a little anxious - how was I going to deal with ALL THOSE EXTRA CALORIES? Until I realized that the excess over maintenance only added up to about 900 calories - about the same as the deficit I’d achieved Monday through Thursday before the weekend. My big indulgent weekend, in perspective, would average out to break even for the week. No losses but no gains.
I don’t know a lot about maintenance, and I’m obviously trying to find my footing for a long haul. But I am beginning to realize that all of the planning ahead and budgeting calories that I did during weight loss are key skills to making maintenance work. I also am continuously learning that this is not an emotional process - it’s ok to emotionally eat occasionally, but there is nothing to be gained by letting your feelings take control when you’ve deviated from your plan. If anything, it’s a time that calls for a level-headed response. Rather than consider the day wasted, look at your day like you would a budget - if you overspent, it would be irresponsible to continue charging purchases just because it feels terrible to be out of money, right? Just some food for thought, for those of you navigating maintenance and doing the best you can. Have a great week!
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