Hi, I'm F(28) and I've been over weight all my life. I'm currently around 300 lbs though I'm not positive, and I've been that way since my teens. I'm pretty embarrassed but trying to be open about my situation to try and help myself and get help from you guys as best as I can so please be gentle. And it's gonna be a lot, I KNOW, bear with me if you're ready.
I was always a big kid, and just never lost the weight. Genetics play a big part, my immediate family is all heavy, not just heavy, but stocky. Even at a healthy weight we are.....sturdy people. So as well as a bad up bringing, I didn't grow up with healthy eating habits at all so now I'm deciding to work against a life time of bad choices and try to change it.
Problem is, my weight isn't my only hurdle. I've got a host of health issues that are probably either contributing to my weight or caused by my weight and I'm worried if I jump into weight loss without a little guidance I may hurt myself.
I've got joint problems of an unknown type, ever since I was a little kid as far back as I remember ALL my joints pop and crack with any movement, even my elbows ache and crack so I know it's not just weight like what's happening to my knees, hips and back. I'm also naturally very flexible. A nurse casually told me I have loose ligaments but I've never been diagnosed with anything officially.
I have a very mild case of scoliosis so of course, my back hurts upper and lower pretty much all the time with the weight adding to it and making lower back pain worse. I've got carpel tunnel and my fingers and hands fall asleep all the time, even when I'm not using them. I might have nerve issues somewhere as holding my hands about my head for longer than a minute causes burning and tingling and numbness; my doctors getting me further testing on that issue. Laying down in bed makes my hands fall asleep and my thumb joints burn so badly that I can't stand it, and the only relief is sitting up. Even if I'm laying on my left side, my right side will still fall asleep so it's not that I'm laying on my limbs. It's gotten bad enough to cause some loss of sensation in my finger tips.
I've got a thyroid problem so that makes weight loss harder of course, but I am on medication currently. I also have PCOS which can cause hormone imbalances but also I have very large cysts needing surgery on at least 1 ovary so there's always some level of pain or discomfort there and exercise has exacerbated it in the past unfortunately.
I've got IBS and a lot of constant stomach and abdominal pain. And beyond that, I may have an issue with my gallbladder, though no stones have been found from past tests, but I have constant pain in that spot on my abdomen that sometimes knocks the wind out of me. Testing has shown slight liver swelling and the early signs of non alcoholic fatty liver disease.
The way I store fat is maybe one of my biggest hurdles. I don't store it in my arms, or my boobs, or my legs or thighs or hips. I wish it was a little bit more evened out but no. It almost all goes to my middle, aka my tummy, especially lower abdomen just above the pelvis. It hangs, and I know even after much weight loss I will likely need a panniculectomy**.** Would love one actually. But it causes so much pain on my organs feeling squished and pulled, my ribs, my back especially. I can't even lift my knees up because it hangs over my thighs. I've got crazy strong leg muscles from all this but of course it's got to go.
And last but certainly not least, throw in anxiety, depression, C-PTSD, and a load of bad habits and bad childhood and well...sometimes I binge eat. I can go long periods of time without eating. I work full time and regularly eat nothing from my waking time to when I get home again about 10 hours later, maybe snacking during that time and eating for about a 3 hour window in the evening. Because of my stomach issues I actually don't want to eat a lot of the time and feel sick about it and have to force myself to eat anything or even drink water, but eventually something switches and I just can't stop myself. And when I have a lot of free time, I will eat out of boredom. I also fixate on food, I love cooking as a hobby and watching recipe videos. There's a lot of times I watch tons of healthy cooking videos, but it's the same kind of fixated mentality I have even if it is in the name of 'health.' It's where I find my mind wandering without meaning to.
That's basically everything. It's a LOT, I know but I'm feeling overwhelmed myself and looking for direction. I have plans and goals, so I'm not completely lost though!
I do have plans to consult with my doctor about these specific issues and how to tackle them from a medical point of view and fix myself, like getting needed surgeries and testing done for everything mentioned.
I'm also going to start eating a lot better, and less. I've been told the keto diet works wonders but I'm not sure a high fat diet is right for me with my liver the way it is. I feel like paleo or Mediterranean is more for me but that's why I'm here for some advice. I'm also planning on starting to include more exercise than just my daily walking but that's what worries me the most...
Weight loss is my starting goal, I think realistically I'd like to start by getting down to 200 lbs, but weight loss is not my ultimate goal. My final goal is the be healthy and not feel trapped in a body that hates me and holds me back from everything. I want to be able to run again, and go on walks without worrying about how long it's going to be and how much time I'll need to spend recovering from it. I want to live a life without constant pain, I want to be able to fit into cute clothes, I want to go on hikes and explore outside (cause I live in NV, we've got a lot of outside) without worry anymore, and keep up with people on these adventures and just live my life. I want strength and stamina but first I've got to lose this weight!
What I really need is guidance, especially from other extremely heavy people or people who have lost significant weight, 100 lbs or more. How did you start? What helped and hindered your early progress?
For other people, maybe others with chronic illness and disabilities, if there's any exercise regimes or routines you can recommend that are low impact and not too intense but like.....actually work would be the biggest help. Any websites or links are appreciated. And yes, I'd like yoga recommendations too!
Of course please point me in the direction of any more specific reddits if they fit what I'm needing, I don't use reddit much and I'm not familiar every group out there but I think a support group is something I need but am lacking.
ALSO any tools you recommend? Weights, balls, mats? Where to start on that or recommended companies?
I'd like to hear your stories! Even just the motivation would be awesome! Thanks in advance everybody and if you read this far, thanks again for sticking with it to hear me out.
TLDR; I'm super fat with a lot of chronic health issues looking to know where to start without hurting myself...and like...if you saw all that and decided to skip it to and still want to give me your opinion maybe don't cause I already know to eat better, exercise and talk to my doctor so thank you, I'm looking for more specific advice or resources.
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