Friday, April 30, 2021

I am struggling with the whole "eat what you want because food is fuel and not the enemy" but knowing that if I take that approach to living and eating the way that I want to - I will gain all the weight back that I have now lost two times over.

TW: eating disorder talk.

For reference - I'm 22F and went from 300lbs to 223lbs in 20 months. I did this through CICO and getting active. This has been my second journey with major weight loss.

Lately, I've been seeing lots of posts and hearing about body positivity, anti-diet culture and food freedom. How no food is bad for you, and that you can eat whatever you want. Basically an F-you to diet culture. (I am not at all saying that diet culture is good or healthy for every person - I'm just saying that this has gotten me thinking.)

As someone who has struggled with their weight, body image and binge eating disorder for essentially my whole life, I found this all to be very interesting just to see things from another perspective. I'm all for not punishing myself for eating certain foods, or exercising as a form of punishment (instead, I do it out of self-love because it makes me feel great!) But here's is what it comes down to for me: I am struggling with grasping the whole "eat what you want because food is fuel and not the enemy" but knowing that if I take that approach to living and eating the way that I want to - I will gain all the weight back that I have now lost two times over.

I know that I want to be healthy in spirit, mind and body and have some form a grasp on food freedom - but I also feel like I am in such a hole at times because I don't understand what a healthy relationship with food looks like, but I do not feel like I can track calories my entire life or let the numbers of calories consume my brain. I know I am not yet at a place where I am done losing weight yet, either.

I don't know if I am looking for advise or just ranting - but thank you for reading this far if you have. I don't think I am the only person in this boat - but man, is it ever a tough boat to be in sometimes.

submitted by /u/saskatchitalians
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2SmgOGx

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