Sunday, July 3, 2022

discouraged by the effects of pysch meds on weight (ED warning)

Hi all, I've been trying to lose weight that was majorly caused by my psych meds. I gained 40 lbs in the span of a few months and so my already dwindling self esteem went straight into the garbage. My clothes are tight and I've been tearing them and breaking threads, so that's definitely not a good feeling. Now everytime I see myself in the mirror or a picture of myself I get frustrated and almost burst into tears.

I was fed up and decided enough was enough and that I wasn't going to let myself get any fatter. I started working out again (I used to be a gym rat) and was feeling okay. After a few weeks, I finally hit the breaking point where I enjoyed working out again. I was pretty excited/proud of myself that I stuck to it to get to that point again. So I decided it was time to start adding more pieces to my workout and to slowly start challenging myself.

Around this point, I also decided I really needed to clean up my eating habits if I really wanted to feel better and make some progress (I have a bad habit/ED of binging and purging, so I would binge constantly on junk food). I started watching my portion control and strayed from junk foods (very hard to do almost cold turkey), because it was really an addiction at that point.

The scale at my work and parents house are VERY old and therefore not very accurate (I have a nice new one in my own apartment), so I use both to gauge my approximate weight and see if they are decreasing as time goes on, even though I'm not sure how much I weigh right now. I have noticed some small weight loss, 5-7 lbs roughly. Although I'm happy there is some progress, I'm frustrated that I haven't lost more (as I could lose and gain weight usually faster).

It's making it very discouraging that I almost want to heavily restrict calories, which I know is a dangerous path for me. But I know a main culprit is my psych meds, which are notorious for crazy weight gain. I am semi-stable currently but I know I can't just ditch all my meds, even though they are causing something that makes me miserable. I'm at a loss of what to do and am almost tired of trying. I feel as if 5-7 lbs of a loss is nothing compared to the work I'm putting in.

My psychiatrist is aware of the weight gain and it's something we are monitoring, but I feel like I need additional help.

I know I'm being a little hard on myself, given the current circumstances, but I just don't know what to do. Do I have to workout even harder? Eat zero junk, not even have a single treat? Add a supplement or something?

Thank you for reading this if you made it this far. If you have any tips on what I should do, what could help, similar experience, what worked for you, anything of the sorts, I would greatly appreciate it 🌸

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