It's hard to be the fat friend. It's hard to hear that you'd "be a ten, if you could just lose some weight". It's hard to know someone you cared for left you because they got thinner and you could not. It's hard to hear that someone you care for cares for you, but doesn't feel especially attracted to you because you're overweight.
It's hard to put down the cake. It's hard to walk past office treats without taking one. It's hard to give up soda.
I've heard this a lot on this sub and others, but never truly realized the truth of the matter: you have to choose your hard.
I'm Mick, and SOMEHOW, I've managed to lose 30 lbs. I truly never thought I would be able to lose weight intentionally; I love food, I use it as a hobby, I get real, intense joy from eating delicious foods. I never thought I could give up the sweets, the treats, the overeating. I keep "failing" at my diet, but somehow, the weight keeps coming off. Slowly, but even that is more progress than I ever expected. Here's what I've done, and here's what I've learned.
I'm super short. 5', 1/2" if you squint. Female, 30 yrs (almost 31). I have been obese since middle school. At my highest recorded weight, I was 212 lbs. I was short, squat, flabby, and shaped like a beach ball. I'm not trying to be self-deprecating; I'm calling it like it was. I ate whatever I wanted (which was a lot), whenever I wanted (which was also a lot). I developed a sort of eating disorder in my teens, which to this day remains un-diagnosed, though I acknowledge its existence. I had spent years researching all the things; I knew all of the methods of losing weight, all the diets and exercises, but for whatever reason I just couldn't seem to implement them. It was like reading about it online caused me to feel like I was doing something productive, and I never felt the need to do more.
There was a significant Event in my life this year that made me really focus on weight loss. Here's a brief overview of all the things I've learned.
-Counting calories is required. I do my best to log every single thing I eat. I'm not great at it. I still forget things. Sometimes I'll forget to log for a whole meal. Sometimes I'll forget to weigh my olive oil, or I'll nibble on something at the office without putting it on the scale first. Sometimes I'll eat a homemade meal and not have all the ingredients perfectly portioned. THIS DOES NOT CONSTITUTE FAILURE. If I forget or miss an item or a meal, I'll come back later and estimate. You heard me. I'll guess. Because of course it's better to weigh and portion everything you eat, but if you can't, it's better to log something than nothing! I try to overestimate a little if I do have to guess, but the longer I do it, the better I am at eyeballing. Guessing does not make you a failure.
- I don't have to go to the gym and "get hard" to lose weight. I've been doing minor exercise (I'm in Physical Therapy right now for shoulder injuries - when I say minor, I mean like 2lb weight mobility movements). Mostly, I walk. Taking a walk at the end of the day with my SO is something I look forward to, and if we miss a day I feel out of sorts. My first 100 days included no exercise other than an average of 6000 steps a day (and that includes everything).
-It's ok to mess up. Some days I go over my calorie limit. Some days I go WAY over my calorie limit. I almost always go over on the weekends. I accept this and move on - even a few days slip up doesn't kill my whole deficit for the week. Would I lose weight faster if I was more disciplined? Absolutely. Would I continue to lose weight if I beat myself up every time I overate? Probably not. So I just - roll with it. Now that I've got a good handle on what a good day looks like, I'm going to try to tighten up. Maybe make it so it's only every OTHER weekend I go over my goals. One step at a time.
-I weigh myself every day. Full disclosure, this may not work for everyone (as in all things). I do this so I don't get obsessed with the number on the scale. Some mornings my weight is up, sometimes its down, but I know that I don't need to panic if I see an increase, and I use an app to help keep track of my average.
PERFECTION IS NOT NECESSARY. The only thing that counts as a failure is if I stop trying.
Here's to the next 100 days. We got this.
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