Hi guys, first-time poster, but long time lurker. I started my weight loss journey at 280lbs, and I'm currently at 242lbs, lost 7 inches around my stomach, I'm 5 feet 9 inches, male, and 23 years old.
I'm going to start off by saying right now that this isn't going to be about what I did externally, but rather what I did internally. Because I could tell you right now that I counted calories, I did intermittent fasting, and I worked out intensely and ran every day, and it would mean absolutely nothing to you, the reader. If you're a regular of this subreddit, then you know how to lose weight. Here are five tips on how I was able to stay so motivated, ambitious, and disciplined while doing it.
1) Be honest with yourself
This is absolutely one of the first things you should do before you even think about losing weight. I was VERY HARSH with myself. I was brutally honest about everything that was going on. The very first thing I did was admit to myself that I have an eating disorder. I wasn't fat because of an unrelated issue. It was because I'm a fat fuck with no self-control that eats fast food and drinks soda for nearly every meal. I feel like garbage all the time. I was in college but barely had any friends because I was so insecure about myself. I was a fat slob. I spent all my free time in my basement on the computer only leaving to stuff my face. I was unhappy with myself, and I've felt unhappy for a long time. I've watched my soul get destroyed time after time, and I had nothing left to lose.
You need to ask yourself: "do I want to live this way for the rest of my life? Am I fat for no reason or is it because I eat like crap? Am I unhappy with myself?" Because if you don't make a change now, I can guarantee it's only going to get worse.
2) Allow yourself to express emotions freely
This one was hard for me, and will probably be hard for you too, especially if you're a man. Men are taught from a very young age that showing emotion isn't manly, that you have to be stoic and impartial to everything going on around you. I say fuck that. EMOTIONS ARE POWERFUL. ALLOWING YOURSELF TO EXPRESS EMOTIONS FREELY, BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE EMOTIONS, WILL EMPOWER YOU (more on that in #4).
When I was being honest with myself I mentioned I was very harsh with myself. I let myself cry. I had a fucking breakdown. I was sad, angry, jealous, fed up. I let myself bask in those emotions, and I vowed to myself that I never want to feel this way again, and I will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to make sure I don't. Every single day I'm honest with my emotions, and acknowledge that they are all valid. I feel this way for a reason and I'm going to let myself feel this way. Allowing myself to remain vulnerable has ironically also empowered me. This also builds emotional intelligence, which is very important for keeping yourself in check. It allows you to express a variety of emotions and know how to act accordingly when they happen.
3) Keep yourself accountable
This is one of the biggest incentives to keep me on track. From the get-go, I made an Instagram account about my weight loss journey, and I aggressively promoted it to my friends so they could follow it. This may not have been the healthiest/wisest solution for forcing myself to stay on track, but it worked. I post regularly on it and I'm allowed to watch myself progress and get better. Your accountability tells a story that can inspire and motivate other people, and it personally brings me fulfillment when I see I've inspired other people, which I get messages very often saying that I have.
Another way you can stay accountable is through apps like MyFitnessPal for calorie counting. Like I said, I won't talk too much about externalities.
This may come off as an unhealthy coping mechanism, and take it with a grain of salt, but I started to have the mindset that everything that happens around me is because of me. It allowed me to have more control over my successes and my failures. Even if something isn't my fault, I'll take responsibility and think about ways I can improve myself or that situation at that point. Weight loss isn't just about dropping the number on the scale or the inches on your measurements, it's a complete lifestyle overhaul and intense character development.
4) Turn negative experiences into positive energy
It's very easy to allow setbacks, pitfalls, and other negative experiences to consume you and put a stop to your progress. I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about a negative experience that happened to me very recently and how I turned it into a breakthrough.
3 days ago, a friend invited me out to hang out, and I met up with him, his girlfriend, and 2 other girls I've never met. The night goes fine for the most part but somebody brought up my twitter account and one of the girls I just met asked to see it. I handed her the phone from across the table, let her scroll for a couple of minutes, then she handed it back to me. I'm the type of person to always have my apps closed, so when I went to close my twitter app, I see 4 or 5 other apps open, including my photo gallery. Every month I take a shirtless video showing off all my angles for weight loss accountability, and I just happened to take a video the day before the incident. They weren't meant for anyone's eyes but my own. I wasn't hovering over her, but I knew for a fact she saw it. I was mortified, but I didn't say anything. I also saw her casually swiping left on tinder, and I knew I was one of those undesirables she'd swipe left on. I waited for the other two girls to walk away, said goodbye to my friend and his gf, and left. I got back to my car, deleted my tinder, and vowed I would go harder than I ever went before when I get to the gym the next day, and I would never let anyone violate me like that again.
The next day came, and I did as I promised. I ran on that elliptical harder than I've ever ran, and I didn't feel tired or the desire to stop once. I could've easily let my misery, my resentment, my anger, and my jealousy consume me. But I knew why I was doing what I was. I wanted to be better. I was fed up. I was tired of being tired. I've been bullied and overlooked my whole life, and I've had enough. It's been 4 days since that incident and I'm still riding that wave.
Don't let anything set you back. You're playing the long game. You're going to experience failures somewhere down the line, and you're going to want to give up. But, you have to tell yourself "fuck that, I'm never going back to the way I was" and keep goin' on.
5) Do it because you deserve it
It's no secret that this world is unforgiving. Even if not out loud, people ridicule you. People judge you. You're thought of as less because you carry more weight. The harsh reality is if you're down, you're going to stay down until you do something about it. Because the world will keep kicking you in the ribs until you grab that leg and break it. I want to tell you, the reader, that you deserve so much more than this world could ever offer you. You deserve to be happy with your body. You deserve to be successful. You deserve to live your best life. Most importantly, you deserve to be loved.
You don't deserve to be ridiculed, or thought of as less. If you're struggling to lose weight, don't give up. You're going to do great things. You're going to be world-class. You're going to be the envy of the people that used to ridicule you. You have to keep going. If you haven't started, then you need to start. You need it more than you know it. You are going to be so thankful to yourself when you look back one year later and see how far you've come. This life we're given is so precious, you deserve to have the best time of your life.
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