Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Boyfriend doesn't support weight loss

I figured I try posting here as I'm feeling kind of desperate.

I've been doing cico for about three months now. I started out obese and am now overweight and need to lose 22lbs more to be in a healthy weight range. I've been pretty consistent in counting all my calories and reaching 1200 calories. I'm feeling great about my weight loss and finally start to feel fitter. I've started jogging and don't feel like being fat is the first thing people notice about me.

My boyfriend has always had a preference for curvier women and I knew that. I was never skinny and my goal has never been to be super light as I've always liked my shape when I was a healthy but not the lightest weight I could be with my height. But during our relationship I've gained a lot and started feeling super uncomfortable in my own skin and I've never been silent about it. My boyfriend knows this and he knows it's unhealthy to be overweight and even obese so he was never like "no, don't do it" but he has been really hard to deal with the past three months. It has gotten better. In the beginning he would make me feel guilty for not eating the same thing as he did or not drinking/eating as much as I used to. He also doesn't get the point of counting every calorie and finds it obsessive and has called me obsessive multiple times, even though I am fine with incorporating cheat days and I make room for wine or snacks by eating lighter throughout the day. He says he's scared I won't be able to stop at some point and become skinny, it doesn't matter how much I show him I'm not changing, he doesn't trust it.

I can't explain everything because it's so much but we've had so many fights about this the past couple of months and I'm just tired. It's way less than in the beginning (now it comes up maybe once a week) but I find myself worrying about the next time we're gonna be fighting again.

I'm afraid to say anything about my weight loss and try to hide it. He sometimes pokes my hip bones and says it's so hard even though it would have always felt hard if I lay in a certain position. He's also dieting with me and he's lost a lot of weight as well and he does this because he feels like it's a competition. (He also eats way too little for his height and weight and still calls my diet unhealthy and obsessive, even though I make sure I get enough nutrients and never go below 1200). He's had problems with weight loss when he was young so it's definitely a psychological thing, and I know he wants to better and I really want to help him deal with that but I just don't know how.

Other than this whole weight loss thing our relationship is perfect, we literally never had problems like this. I want us to help each other and I want him to take it serious that I need to lose weight.

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