I started my weight loss journey in the middle of January 2020. I started at around 235-240lbs and I'm now 182 lbs. This is the lowest I have been in 10 years. People have been complimenting me on my weight loss. People that I haven't seen because of the lockdown have been saying how much weight I have lost. It felt extremely great hearing those comments. However, their comments are actually doing more harm to me than good. I've always known that every time I start dieting and show progress, any person's comment on how much progress I've made always marks the end of that journey. It's like their affirmation makes me think that OKAY I DID IT. So when people started complimenting me again this time around, my mind once again started convincing me that I've made it. I know that I still have around 20lbs to go but my mind is actually convincing me otherwise.
For the last month, I've been sneaking in cheat meals on non-cheat days. It started off with a cake one a week. Then it became a burger and a cake. Then soda. The last straw was today, when I ordered McDonald's. I haven't eaten McDonald's since I started my weight loss journey but I caved in. However, as I was eating it, the food didn't taste good. It actually tasted bitter for some reason. (i'm now worried that I have covid). Also for the last month, I've hovered around 182-185 lbs. I actually reached 180lbs last week but then I saw it as a sign that my diet was still working despite sneaking in unscheduled cheat meals -- the mind really is a dangerous thing. But after that McDonald's meal, I've decided to refocus again and strictly stick to my 1500 calories per day diet. However, that's easier said than done. I need to fix my mindset again and reassess my motivations and goals. I'm scared of going back to the weight that I was when I started. I looked at pictures of myself and compared it with now and I was disgusted with how fat I allowed myself to become. I'm still doing my keto diet meal plan but it's no longer really strict keto but rather I'm just eating it because the meal plan gives me fixed calories and the high fat content keeps me full for longer period of time.
P.S. do you guys have any tips or suggestions when my mind starts convincing me that I've already made it? My ego is starting to overpower me. Their compliments are feeding this monster and it's hard to defeat it.
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