It's never too late to start

Hi everyone,

I'm at the beginning of my journey and wanted to post to keep myself accountable, for support, maybe some guidance/advice, but ultimately so I can get my thoughts out and really solidify this change in lifestyle.

I'm 24, female, 5ft and started at 220lbs, my goal weight is 130lbs. I'm currently at 216lbs. It's not a massive change. I get discouraged a little when I read that people have lost 8-10lbs in one week but I understand everyone's bodies are different.

I've been on my weight loss journey for 2 and a half weeks now and I've constantly been thinking about how much weight I could have lost had I started properly trying to lose a month ago or 3 months ago or a year ago. I realise this is a stupid thought, as much as we'd love to, we can't go back in time.

I've struggled for a long time with anxiety, depressing and binge-eating. I've been overweight my whole life, not to the extent that I'm at now but definitely overweight and bullied for it. When I look back at photos of me in school, I wonder why I was bullied so much, I was genuinely not that much bigger than everyone else but I remember feeling like an absolute worthless whale. Now I wish I could be back at that weight. Funny how that works, eh? Anyway, I'm sure all of that (along with bad eating habits from parents/family) fuelled my rubbish relationship with food and now I'm in a difficult position of trying to change my mentality and habits. It's definitely going to be a long journey, but I finally feel like I'm ready for it.

I've started calorie counting, I'm sticking to 1,200 calories a day. I feel like it's the most sustainable method for me as I can still eat what I want, just as long as it fits into my calories for the day. I don't feel restricted or like I'm missing out on anything and that's really been the biggest issue with me in the past. I'm slowly but surely becoming more educated on the kinds of foods I'm eating and just the sheer size of the meals I was eating before and I know now how unbelievably wrong I've been. No one needs to eat an entire 10 piece KFC bucket to themselves. No one.

Mentally, I have a lot of work to do so I'm looking for some books that will help change my perception of food and my mindset to eating. I've previously used food as a crutch for my problems, as comfort, as something to do due to boredom and I really want to try hard to change these so if anyone has any suggestions, I'd be eternally grateful.

I'm excited to share this journey with you guys and for those who're still reading, thank you!! Maybe one day I'll go into more detail about the struggles I've had with dieting in the past but I feel like bringing that up now will just fuel my desire to create excuses as to why I can't do this. The thing is, I can do it. I know I can do it. Maybe I won't be slim, or skinny but I'll definitely be smaller. I'm sure of it. I've recently started seeing someone who's so supportive of my goal to lose weight, who encourages it and praises me when I make healthy food choices. He wants me to succeed and it's so damn refreshing because my ex would just feed into my binging by bringing me tons of fast food all the time. It was not healthy and I cannot be with someone like that anymore. I really hope my life is on the way up now.

This time next year, I want to be happy and comfortable with myself. I want to be mentally healthy. I want to have a better relationship with food. I want to be me.

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