Sunday, June 14, 2020

Starting all over again

I’m pretty bummed to be making this post, but maybe it will help keep me accountable.

2 years ago I began my first weight loss journey (F 5’7” 160 lbs). I was tired of constantly thinking about food, and letting my day revolve around when I was going to eat. I felt slow and lethargic most days, like I just had too much fat I was carrying around.

I managed to go from 160–>127 in a couple of months. I logged my intake consistently in MFP, and made easy enough sacrifices that allowed the pounds to drop off easily. However, I never reached my goal of 120 pounds. Ever since I hit 127, I’ve been steadily cycling between gaining and losing weight.

Quarantine has made my weight issue even worse. I feel addicted to food, and find myself constantly thinking about my next meal, even when I’m not hungry. I stopped logging my intake, but I think I’m easily eating 2,000+ calories a day. It’s humiliating to realize I now weigh 160 pounds again. I feel lethargic, and not as light on my feet as I did when I weighed over 30 pounds less. It fucking sucks. But I know I’m the only person responsible for this.

So, here I am. I’m ready to try and rid myself of this addiction. I’m scared if I don’t take control now, I’m going to eat my way well into obesity.

Has anyone lost and subsequently gained nearly all the weight they have previously lost? I’m really struggling to find the motivation to say “no” to empty calories.

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