my biggest pants I ever owned (33 inch waist, I now wear a 27)
I, (F18, 5'5"/ 1,66m) went from 82 kg (180 lbs) in October 2018 to now 59 kg (130 lbs).
A little bit of background: I was a normal sized child, and the reason I even got fat in the first place, was the fact that my mum never had much junk food/sweets in the house. I love this stuff tho, so as soon as I started school and got out of the house regurlarly (and had access to some money of my own), I started to spend most of this money on sweets. It was really bad in 3rd and 4th grade, died down a bit for a few years, but came back in 8th and 9th grade. I would eat a full bag of chips and bags of gummy bears and chocolate every day, and also so much other stuff, and it was always just so so much. I'm honestly surprised I haven't gained more weight. My mum always encouraged weight loss, but I really didn't want to. I didn't feel good about myself by any means, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of being right, so I kept eating. That terrible habit died down again, but the weight stayed. When I was in the lower 70s, I remember thinking 'oh, it's not to bad yet, I'll do something when I hit 75 kg'. I thought the same thing when I hit 75, saying I'll do something about it at 80 kg, and it finally clicked when I hit 82 (or maybe even a little bit more, but that's my highest recorded weight).
I went on to lose around 12 kg until I hit 70 kg again. I don't remember how I did it exactly, but it must have been through CICO, bc I have my weight recorded in MFP, so I must have counted calories. I don't know why I stopped, but I think bc I felt pretty good about myself again, and I also had the mindset of 'getting and staying in the 60s is so hard', so I didn't even try. This first part took me from October 2019 to April 2019.
I wasn't really aware of what I was doing, I didn't really know about the concept of proper maintenance, so I slowly gained back around 6 kg, so I sat at 76 kg again. I felt terrible, and in October of 2019 I decided to lose weight again. This time I properly counted calories, got myself involved in weight loss groups and reddits and read lots of tips and tricks, and I finally lost weight the right way. The 59 kg are a weight that I wanted to hit really bad, bc I wanted to see that 5 on the scale (I think the last time I weighed this much, I didn't care about my weight yet), and also bc that would bring my total weightloss to 50 lbs. I think the weight where I feel best is somewhere around 60 kg, +- 1 or 2, so I'll maintain there.
The last few weeks I struggled really badly, binged a few times (that never happened before), and I think that was because I kept a very strict deficit (every day less than 1000 net calories, which means eating 1200 calories and excercising) for weeks, almost two months, and that was really hard on me.
For months I felt terrible about myself, idk how many times I cried myself to sleep bc I hated the way I looked so much, and now, for the first time in so so long, I can finally say that I'm happy with my body.
I'm really glad I hit that goal now, and I'm happy to start into maintenance, properly this time. I also started excercising around 100 days ago, and I have noticed a significant increase in muscle tone and also overall fitness, and I'm finally a person that considers excercise as something that I do for fun, which I would have never thought
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