Hear me out. I know it is not the same thing exactly but I used to smoke. I hated it but loved it also, just like an addict does I suppose. Most people were surprised I smoked because 'it wasn't like me' and I agreed but also could not quit for years and years.
Any of the highly palatable, processed type foods invoke the same kind of craving for me as cigarettes used to do. I knew it was mostly psychological and that if I abstained the craving for cigarettes would subside and that I would eventually join the millions of people who go through the day never thinking about smoking. Yet it took me years to finally quit successfully.
Living in a city right by many shops didn't help. I can't even count the times I finished my pack in the evening vouching I would quit and the next morning I would be on my way to the corner shop before noon even hit with some sort of excuse like 'today is not the day'. I knew that I was lying to myself of course but I 'needed' to smoke. Typical behaviour of an addict.
I will meal prep healthy meals and make the same kind of excuses to go get junky foods from the shops anyway. In fact it is exactly the same pattern. I also feel the same type of shame like with smoking about not being able to control my behaviour.
I am not the type of person who can smoke once a month at a party and abstain the rest of the time. With food, I know so many here preach moderation: fit the muffin into your daily calories etc. But I can't do moderation, I will obsess over food and go get it anyway and overeat. Even if I'm full with a hearty but healthy meal I'll still crave something junky.
I feel like I need to abstain completely from those types of hyperpalatable processed foods... Even if just for a while to stop the cycle I am currently in.
But then isn't that also extreme to never eat cake again? Food is such a huge part of social events, I can't imagine showing up at someone's house and telling them I can't eat 95% of their food. I find it embarrassing that it seems like it must come to this where I must abstain to break what truly feels like an addiction. Why can't I just have one cookie?!
I can write about this for ages but honestly just hoping for anyone who feels the same or some insight or encouragement.
Right now I am getting nowhere with weight loss because I self sabotage and just like with smoking, that corner shop with junk foods is just a 2 minute walk away.
Thanks for reading.
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