And I'm so sad.
I had lost a lot of weight back then and I looked amazing. But I regained some weight and I've been feeling terrible aboutit lately. I try to eat as healthy as possible but I lost the motivation to work out. Thanks to my boyfriend I have an entire home gym and I don't use it. Because of covid19 we weren't able to go to our kickboxing club, but it shouldn't be a big deal with all the equipment we have at home. Yet I don't work out at home. I can just feel myself gaining weight again. I don't have a scale at home (on purpose since I got obsessed with it) but I can see it on photos and in the mirror. I feel it in my clothes, I can't stand wearing jeans anymore.
I'm just so sad. And angry. How did I let it get to this again?? I had lost all this weight and just like that I'm regaining it. All the hard work I put into it years ago has been thrown in the trash. I learned all these things about weight loss and healthy food and exercise, god damnit I was becoming an expert in all this. People came to me for advise as if I was one of these "fitgirls" on Instagram and now I've turned into this lazy, unmotivated piece of crap.
It's as if I was waiting for motivation, well those old pictures are it. Tomorrow is Monday. Day one again. I have my low cal protein shakes. I have my low cal snacks. I have water. I have an entire home gym, I have space to go for a daily walk, I even have inline skates. I don't have a very tiring job so I have plenty of energy when I get home. No more excuses. Wish me luck.
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