I am a 32 y/o woman and I weighed myself this morning and I feel completely defeated. I currently weight 266 pounds. I feel as though the mountain is too big ahead of me to fix what I’ve done. Let me tell you how I got to this point. Long story short, I had a baby in the summer of 2021. I got pregnant while overweight (first mistake). On delivery day I was 254 pounds at 5foot 9inches. The delivery was awful and traumatic. I developed PPD, but that was just the beginning. Our child DID. NOT. SLEEP. FOR. 11 MONTHS. We did every single thing under the sun until we finally broke down and hired a sleep consultant who changed our life. (If you have a child with sleeping problems, go ahead and hire a consultant- it was the best money we have ever spent!) But when I tell you not sleeping more than 1 hour at a time for 11 months will change you. It will changed the type of person you are. It will affect every single aspect of your life. The last thing on my mind was weight loss. ALSO, in December, when the baby was 6 months old and we were in the thick of sleep deprivation, I had a back injury when picking up the baby. It was mild at first, I thought it was just a pulled muscle. Well it progressively got worse over the months to the point where I am in 8/10 pain most everyday now. Turns out I had a bulging disc. I did physical therapy - it did nothing. I got 2 epidural steroid injections- they didn’t work at all. Now I am at the point of needing back surgery in the next few weeks. I’m so scared, but there is nothing else I can do at this point. So since December with the no sleep and constant back pain I have unfortunately developed an unhealthy drinking habit. It started as just a way to get some happiness out of the day to now it’s a way to help give my pain meds the little kick it needs to be effective in knocking out my back pain. The best pain relief I can get right now is a laaarge glass of red wine with 3 advil. That will take my pain from about an 8/10 to a 3/10. I understand how unhealthy this is but it has become a medication in itself. Anyway, I know I need to drastically cut back on drinking but I will have surgery in a few weeks and for now it helps. I also know i desperately need to lose weight to help with my back pain. I weighed this morning and I currently weigh 266 pounds. I weight more now than I did the day I delivered my baby… I am desperate but feel caught in using alcohol these next few weeks for some pain relief until I can get the surgery. I am very self aware that I am using it inappropriately but honestly I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. Of course when I drink alcohol I make poor food choices. I literally want to stop drinking now but the back pain is so intense that I can not properly take care of my daughter, let alone get on the floor to play with her. I have never weighed this much in my life. In the past I have lost about 50 pounds during 3 separate occasions. I am no stranger to working out, eating right, and losing weight. But I have never tackled it with this many cards against me. I feel like I am standing at the base of Mount Everest looking up. If you have any advice, words of encouragement, personal testimonials, I am all ears! I want to feel like myself again but I am definitely in the vicious cycle of pain, alcohol, bad food choices, repeat. I guess this is somewhat of just a vent or an sos, I dunno. Thanks for reading this far!
TLDR: currently 266 pounds. I am having back surgery in a few weeks but use alcohol as a pain reliever which then brings about bad food choices which then worsens the back pain. Weight loss feels impossible right now.
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