I am on my weight loss journey for a couple of different reasons. First, of course, is health. I don’t want to enter my 30s setting myself up for tons of discomfort and health issues all because of my weight. While I don’t suffer from anything life-threatening right now, I do notice those subtle but disturbing symptoms of carrying too much weight: aches, quickness to tire, rashes when it gets hot. Getting rid of those things alone is worth it to me, so I don’t plan on giving up.
But I can’t deny that I’m also losing weight for those superficial reasons: to look and feel better. But here’s where I start getting discouraged: I’ve never been “hot” or “attractive” in my life, even when I was near a more normal weight in high school. I don’t want to go into detail really, but people weren’t always kind to me.
I see people lose tons of weight, and while they were attractive even when overweight, they’re radiant and shapely once they hit their goal weight.
I just worry…what if I’m working to transform into a different kind of “ugly”? What if the body that awaits me is just as gross and awful as this one? What if I’m just not meant to look or feel attractive?
I know these are silly thoughts. I apologize.
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