Sunday, April 14, 2019

So...when do people get nicer?

I started my weight loss journey last August and am down 55 pounds as of this week. I've been either overweight or obese my entire life, which hasn't been the best emotional ride. Sure, I've always had friends and a relatively good life from the outside, but I never felt truly liked or appreciated. It's as if the layers of fat made it difficult for people to see there was an actual human inside. Feeling particularly down one day last summer, I randomly came across a post on this forum about the wonders of people magically becoming friendlier after the OP lost weight. I was enthralled and searched for similar topics here and happily found so many posts with more or less the same message. I began to revel in the thought of society seemingly changing for the better overnight. I was at a point where it was almost laughable to see how quickly people would avert their eyes during conversation - I remember several incidents where I met up with friends I hadn't seen in awhile only for them to see me and quickly look away and avoid eye contact pretty much all night. It's like I was acknowledged for being present but still invisible, if that makes sense. But I saw a definite pattern and wondered if everyone was in on some master plan against me, like Truman Show-esque.

To give you some perspective, I'm in my 30s and am 5'1" with my highest weight reaching 190 last year but mostly hovering around the 160-170 range over the last decade. Petite but not horizontally petite by any means, though I've been told many times that I didn't appear to look anywhere near my high weight range.

I was perplexed by people's reactions to me mostly because it was so damn noticeable and I didn't think the degree in which people were treating me was warranted by my looks, personality, etc. Anyway, this part is a little nuts to me thinking back, but that's all it took to get me to finally lose weight. After reading that post, I simply wanted to see for myself whether or not people would actually become nicer. Thankfully, I'm here now, 55 pounds lighter with about 20 pounds to go (goal weight is 115). I am the same weight as I was in high school! I lost the weight with CICO and some IF, nothing surprising to anyone here.

Anyway, point is, EVERYONE IS EXACTLY THE SAME. If anything, people are even more effing obnoxious because I kid you not people (strangers/coworkers/friends) will stare directly at me, and when I notice and look in their direction, they won't even avert their eyes. No smile or even a look of hatred, just staring. So I guess it's the opposite problem because now they're looking at me, but still kinda the same situation?

So when is all the love and kindness going to start trickling in? For those of you who've experience the extra attention, friendliness, and just general fuzzy love from society, when did that start?

Btw, since posts are somewhat tone deaf, I am being partly facetious here but also genuinely curious. All in all though, aside from some strange staring people, I am SO MUCH HAPPIER in life. This forum is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you all!

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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2UWJJR6

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