I've been struggling with this quandary for a while, and I feel like maybe I can get some different perspectives here to resolve the disconnect in my head.
Quick background on me: My most recent/current weight loss journey started in June of 2017, when I weighed 259.4 pounds. I joined Weight Watchers (WW), and since then, I have lost around 75 pounds. I've had ups and downs (I'm currently in a bit of an upswing, due entirely to eating like crap), but I'm still way ahead of where I was 2 years ago.
So on the one hand, I fully support the body-positivity/fat pride movement, and I would never fat-shame anyone, and I don't think anyone should lose weight because of pressure from society or anyone. If you are happy being fat, more power to you. You do you. I think it's terrible how society treats fat people like second-class citizens, and it's a dangerous trend in the medical field to tie weight loss to all sorts of unrelated health issues, leaving many people untreated for life-threatening illnesses.
However, I've been seeing some troubling posts on Facebook from people who consider themselves to be body-positive who are being almost hostile to people who do want to lose weight. Their reasons are many, but the gist of it is that if you're trying to lose weight (specifically as a woman), you're conforming to societal, patriarchal beauty standards. Furthermore, if you even talk about trying to lose weight, you're shaming everyone who is fat and happy.
I've struggled with being healthy pretty much my whole adult life. And I'll fully admit, I closely link health and weight loss, partly because, in my experience, if I lead a healthy lifestyle (putting mostly healthy foods in my body, minimizing less than healthy foods and getting some sort of physical activity on a somewhat regular basis), I tend to lose weight. If I follow a "healthy" lifestyle, I actually lose weight fairly easily. I know this is not the case for everyone, and I certainly don't think that obesity is simply a lack of willpower. I know there are lots of fat people who are healthy, and plenty of thin people who aren't. But for me personally, healthy lifestyle=weight loss/maintenance. I've always struggled with maintaining that healthy lifestyle, and it's something I will probably struggle with the rest of my life.
I will also fully admit that part of my motivation to be healthy and lose weight is to "look better". I don't like how I look when I'm fat, and I don't really care if that makes be beholden to patriarchal societal standards. I'm not trying to attract a mate (I'm happily married, and my incredibly supportive husband has loved and been attracted to me from 170 pounds to 260 pounds); my weight loss has always been about me, not because of pressure from anyone in my life.
And you know what? I'm proud of the weight loss that I've accomplished, and I want to talk about it. I don't look down on anyone for not losing weight, but I set a goal for myself, and while I'm not there yet, I'm proud of my success so far. I get lots of positive reinforcement from the people in my life, but there's a nagging voice in the back of my head that says I shouldn't be happy about those compliments, because they're just reinforcing the stereotype that thinner is better. I don't want to talk about my weight loss, because I don't want anyone to think I am trying to shame them, and I don't want to be questioned about my motives. It's to the point where I don't mention my weight loss to my best friend, because she is very much into the body-positive movement, and I don't want to get into a fight about it.
So my quandary is wanting to be body-positive and happy in the body that I'm in, regardless of whether I lose 20 more pounds, gain 50 pounds or stay where I am, and wanting to lose weight, not only to look better, but to feel better. I feel better when I'm eating better, a point I'm constantly trying to remind myself of, sometimes unsuccessfully. I've been struggling to reconcile these things in my head for a while.
I'm curious as to what this community has to say about this, but please be respectful of all sides. Name-calling and fat-shaming will absolutely not be tolerated.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2UmzINH
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