I remember the day before I started my diet so perfectly. 107 days ago, I was so miserable. I felt like garbage after a night of drinking that ended with stuffing my face with taco bell. My boyfriend wanted to get dressed up and go out to a nice dinner for our anniversary. None of my nice clothes fit. I tried to go shopping but had a breakdown over how big I had become. We ordered pizza and watched a movie instead.
I've gained 50 pounds since meeting him 4 years ago. I asked if it bothered him and he said something like, "I know how you are, you let things get out of hand until you just buckle down and fix it." He was right.
The next day I weighed myself at work I was the heaviest I had ever been at 174. I vented to my coworkers and soon everyone was complaining about their weight and talking about how they were going to lose it- keto, weight watchers, jogging, ect. I tried to get them to get the loseit! app with me so we could all do it together...no one else was on board, saying it sounded too tedious. (Spoiler alert: they all regret that now)
Sticking to my calorie limit was definitely a struggle at first. Talk of the virus was stressing me out and I was eating my feelings. I was grabbing handfuls of whatever from the pantry/fridge and not really tracking it. I was still going out drinking with my friends, not only consuming too many calories from alcohol, but inevitably wanting fast food at the end of the night.
But about a week later, COVID-19 hit my hospital HARD. As soon as I started caring for even suspected cases, it was work and home and nowhere else. No one could tempt me with an invitation to a bar or restaurant. Suddenly a ton of overtime became available, I took as much as I could, and I was on my feet working up to 60 hours a week (and sweating like a pig in all that PPE). Work became so stressful, and terrifying, even traumatic at times...but being able to hyper-focus on my calories, macros, steps and meal planning gave me something I could control during a crazy time. Going to work wasn't ALL bad because it meant getting to weigh myself and not have to use my willpower against pigging out in front of the TV all day. Seeing a lower number on that scale gave me a sort of high that would help me get through the day. And, no surprise, working out became a great outlet for my stress.
Normalcy is returning and my hospital is almost COVID-free, but this has kickstarted what I think is a lifelong journey of health&fitness as a means to mental wellness. I was forced to meet the greatest stress of my life with some of the healthiest coping mechanisms I've ever had. Like if I have a lot on my mind I go on a walk to get my steps in and talk it out in my head instead of trying to eat it away. Tracking/planning calories occupies brain space that use to house needless anxiety. And of course all the compliments I'm getting from those friends I didn't see all this time is a big confidence boost.
Happy to have found this community. How has quarantine been for all of you in terms of your weight loss journey, and how has it affected your mental state?
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