Last week I made a very heartfelt post spilling my guts about my rocky history with weight, disordered eating, and fat liberation. You guys were all amazing with the support and advice you gave, and I truly appreciate all of the encouragement. I have never, ever admitted to anyone out loud how much I weigh before and it was really cathartic. It was like I couldn't just ignore it anymore because it wasn't just news for me and my doctor. Again, thank you.
After a few days mulling over what the next step would be, I decided to just open up MyFitnessPal and track what I ate every day without trying to cut back. I just needed to know where I was starting and dive into the habit.
I bought a food scale and a bathroom scale (I had thrown mine out when I first started the fat activism thing) and made a list of the things that I used to love to do that my current body holds me back from doing. I put up photos of myself when I was at a comfortable weight and doing those things (mainly hiking huge summits, now I'm winded by a big flight of stairs, ugh). I calculated my BMR and TDEE, subtracted 1,000 from the TDEE and plugged that in as the goal for MyFitnessPal. I considered Keto pretty heavily but decided with my history with bulimia and a gnarly binge/restrict cycle, it wasn't a good idea to cut out entire categories of food, outside of sugar/processed stuff.
So, today is the first day I ate less. I'm so worried that I'll fail, but I feel really grateful for being able to talk about it here. I'm sure I'll be posting here more and lurking a ton. Again, thank you to everyone who empathized and encouraged me to get started.
On another note, if anyone wants to hold me accountable on MyFitnessPal, my username is gabstotheabs!
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